Everything and Nothing from Essex

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2-3 afternoons a week, I hide away in a corner of McDonalds and write away on work stuff while someone comes to my house and watches my children for me (thank you).

It's no secret that I'm working on a novel, and frankly the time necessary to work and polish and work some more extends beyond nap time and bedtime after you add in housework and therapies.

Thus, I get a few blessed hours a couple times a week (depending on what sort of deadline I'm working on at the time) to steal away and write.

Why McDonalds?
1. It two minutes away from my house
2. Free internet
3. $1.09 sweet tea and readily available snacks if I get hungry
4. I go in between meal hours so it's mostly empty

Today I was tapping away on my computer, excited to be back to "work" after a long weekend at the beach in Maine with family.

Brow furrowed, I was intensely working over a particular paragraph when a loud voice cut through my shield of concentration.

"And THEN I SAID OH MY WORD...." A teenager girl was telling a dramatic story to a friend. (Note: she was an employee on break)

I ignored her (which was difficult) until I heard very loudly proclaimed "That's SO RETARDED!" Punctuated by a shriek of laughter and dramatic wave of her hand.

My jaw swung open in shock. I live in a rather isolated little world -small town- don't work around other people- etc etc. I can honestly say I have never been faced with this situation before.

I had a choice. Do I say something? Do I just keep ignoring her?

My whole body started to shake.

This is Addison we're talking about. I didn't know what I was going to say or what I was even doing, but my Mama Bear instincts catapulted me out of my chair across the distance to her table.

The group of teenagers paused and looked curiously up at me.

My face was flushed and I was trembling.

"Excuse me." I said, trying to control the volume of my voice.

Stunned silence as three pairs of youthful eyes stared back at me.

"I couldn't help but over hear you say the word "retarded" to replace the word "stupid" and I can't tell you how upsetting that is to hear that."

My voice was now wobbling. To my shock one of the teenage boys started nodding in agreement.

"I have a daughter who has Down syndrome, and part of her medical diagnosis could be referred to as 'mentally retarded' and it's very offensive to hear someone use that word to replace something you think is 'dumb' or 'stupid' because she is anything BUT those things. Please don't use that word."

To my utter surprise, the teenage boy who was nodding said "I have a cousin who has Down syndrome. She's right, you shouldn't say that word anymore. It's very offensive."

The girl who had used the word started gasping "I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"And my little girl is the BEST thing that every happened to me, so I'm begging you to just please not use it." (at this point I was somewhat blubbering)

"I won't. I had no idea. I'm sorry." The girl was saying quickly, eyes wide.

I haven't been that angry in a long time, and although I controlled the WAY I said it, my entire body language was vibrating with tension that no doubt communicated my message far better than my words did.

I thanked her politely and walked back to my computer, although I had a difficult time refocusing to finish that difficult paragraph.

The teenage boy walked by me and said "You have no idea how much I hear that in this workplace" as he was apparently also a McDonald's employee even though he had changed out of his uniform.

My takeaway from this situation?
1. I was proud of myself for speaking up when I was scared as to what kind of response I would get.
2. I was proud of her for apologizing and recognizing that she had been wrong in her careless use of the word.
3. I was pleased that I gave a platform for that boy to stand up for what he knew to be right since he had a little backing.
4. I was sad. So, so sad at his statement that he hears it SO MUCH in a workplace that supposedly is so friendly to disabilities and helping children in need.

I think sometimes big corporations can get stuck on the big picture that they forget the small details such as coaching their employees how to respectfully refer to those with disabilities that they're raising money to help.

I'm sure for every employee that isn't respectful of the word "retarded" there are hundreds that are, but in today's society this word just isn't acceptable in every day conversation and needs to be taken into consideration by EVERYONE. I wrote about my thoughts on it here.

Call me sensitive- call me weak- call me overly protective.

I don't care. My daughter is a PERSON and deserves just as much respect as any other person, so I will accept any sort of name calling you send MY way.

But verbally touch my daughter and you WILL see the smoke coming out of my ears and the protective hackles rise. I love her, and I want her to receive the same amount of respect that any little girl should get.

McDonalds- Ban the R word in your workplace! It is just as important as all of the fundraising you do for the Ronald McDonald House. Actions may speak louder than words, but it is rather hypocritical to have the actions without the words....

Oh, and this same little girl is probably one of your biggest fans. Just sayin'.

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A HUGE thank you to everyone who entered the caption contest! Addison's face is always cause for great inspiration over here, so I was more than happy to share that with you and your witty selves. (-:

It took me a few days to come up with a winner because there was SO MANY fabulous ones, but after much deliberation, here are the top 5 (in no particular order):

Beth: