I know sometimes it may look like I have it all together. I know I might appear at times to be a spectacular special needs mom, but sometimes I shake my head reading these comments, wondering how I could have possibly portrayed myself so that people would actually think that.
Sometimes I want to reply to
"You are such an awesome mom!"
"You should know that I have an entire basket of odd socks in the corner of my living room. An entire basket. I paw through it each morning, feeling lucky if I can find 3 pairs of tiny socks that at least coordinate."
"You are such an inspiration! Addison is so lucky to have you as her mom!"
"You should know that I showed up to one of her IEP meetings once with my shirt covered in her urine. It took me half of the meeting to realize it."
Rest assured- special needs kids do not just happen to "special" moms. I promise you- I fail at this more than I succeed. I ask dumb questions at school pick up, and yesterday Eli crawled around in broken glass (see fb post). But one thing I have learned about being a special needs mom- you don't have to be perfect or extraordinary. You just have to show up. You don't have to run marathons. You just have to put one foot in front of the other. You don't have to WIN THE WORLD. You just have to find peace in your tiny corner of it.
I am proof of this. Ask anyone who knows me- there is nothing special about me. In fact, sometimes people might scratch their heads and wonder if the stork perhaps delivered these 3 beautiful babies to the wrong home? But we show up. We love. We survive the hard moments, celebrate the good, and find joy in all the inbetween ones. And somewhere in there? We find clean socks- barely.
So if you are ever tempted to put me on a pedestal because I have a special needs child? Just remember- I am human. I am doing the same thing that thousands of other moms are doing. There is nothing special about me. I find this my safe spot to share, and I love all of you for listening.
Also- I am sleep deprived 99% of the time, and I tend to be ridiculously hard on myself. I cannot believe that Eli is about to turn 1, and that Addison is almost 5 (I have definitely felt every single day of Carter's 3 years.) I just had a cookie for breakfast, and I have absolutely no plans to work out today. The house is a bit trashed, but we will probably head out for an adventure this morning instead of cleaning....after another cookie. I love my children, but lately I have been thinking wistfully about the time before them when I had freedom of movement- and the ability to earn a paycheck without worrying about childcare. My favorite part of the day is when the children get up in the morning and wrap sweet arms around my neck- clinging to me. My second favorite part of the day is when I put the children to bed and they wrap sweet arms around my neck- clinging to me. None of this makes me a horrible mother. Or an awesome one. Just an average, normal lady doing the best she can.
I don't post as many random posts as I used to- feeling that if I'm going to put in the time, I'm going to polish it up with a THEME and make it STAGE WORTHY before publishing.
But here you go. Today's is a random post. (I had to announce the winner...and had no theme other than WINNER ANNOUNCED.)
So let's talk random.
Grandma made the awesome hats and snow and Mommy made the tractor (team effort!) The point of this costume was 2 fold. 1. To be undeniably cute. 2. To support Daddy in his snowblowing ventures (a relatively new winter part of this business). A third point snuck in there as well 3. To get a TON of candy. (-; Mission accomplished.
I really thought Addison would love to ride (again), but she was quite upset that she wasn't walking with Carter. I think I underestimated her a bit. (Although to be fair, if I had asked her to walk, she probably would have wanted to get back in the wagon after 3 houses. We walked a long way!) Oh and no- Carter did not wear the tractor the whole time. It was light, but bulky- so Papa ended up carrying it while the tractor driver walked "next" to it. Eh, at least we got cute pictures.
Another random tidbit...trying to get a good Christmasy picture for this year's calendar gifts:
easier said than done...
I am extremely thankful for triple wagons. Without which I (and my tiny circus) would never leave the house....
And last (but certainly not least) random thing today...the winner of the doll is....
I would give this doll to my daughters -Phoebe (who has DS) and her big sis Rowan. I love how the proceeds from the sale of this doll go to Down syndrome charities. I hadn't heard of this doll- thanks for sharing!
Congratulations on your new doll! Email me at dsmith0806 (at) gmail (dot) com to claim your prize!
Thank you everyone for entering. I loved reading about all of your lives and who you would give the doll to. I wish we could share further over a cup of coffee...and more cookies (-;
So there you go. Random Thursday. Hope you have a good one!