Monday, July 21, 2014

I deleted my last post and here's why

As I explained on my Facebook page- I deleted Thursday's blog post.

I had very good intentions posting it, but I wasn't quite clear in my delivery.

When describing the "Creepy Stranger"- I was trying to portray a mommy vibe that I got that something wasn't quite right in regards to our safety. You ever get "a feeling" and then you go to whatever lengths necessary to keep your babies safe against the situation that gave you "the feeling"? Yes, well- that.

I then came straight here and tried to make light of not feeling safe at our own park- because making light of scary situations is something that I do to cope. Also, I thought if I had specific record of the entire park encounter- maybe it would somehow keep us safe because I now had a lot of 'witnesses' to the incident.

But the way I described "Creepy Stranger"- listing his actions and perceived character traits in an attempt to explain not feeling safe- I think it came across to some of you as me making fun of his personality- which I in no way intended to do.

When it comes to annoying personalities- I think I am probably the top of the list. I have an extremely annoying personality (this I know). I do not hold personalities against people anymore than I would want them to hold mine against me.

Furthermore- to those of you who to wrote me about this- I am well aware that individuals can have hidden disabilities and that cute kids with disabilities grow into adults who could be perceived as annoying at the park to people they don't know (believe me, I think about this reality every day). And this is why I once again say- it wasn't that I was annoyed by this stranger. I make it a point to always be kind and gracious to those who present differently than I do because you truly never know what battles they are fighting- disability or not. The issue was- I did not feel safe. And I think it is okay for there to be a different attitude toward the two vastly different realities as a mother alone at the park with three small children.

I do not mind getting to know people at the park or making new friends as our kids play together. I welcome the company! Staying at home can be a lonely gig. But the issue the other day was that I felt that the safety of my children was threatened- paranoid as that may seem. This is why I isolated out the incident and wrote about it the way I did. Writing about it- probably not the best call on my part because this ambiguous concept coming from a tired mommy brain that tends toward over dramatization was easily misinterpreted.

The issue with wanting Addison to do things herself- this I will write about again soon because I feel very strongly about it and the incident in the park reminded me that this has happened numerous times with many different people. I am ticked every time this happens. This random stranger got the brunt of it in my last post because it had just happened yet again. I included it in the post because it was hot on my mind and my fingers typed faster than my "post filter" could keep up and make sure that the post was even cohesive in its presentation.

All that to say- to those that this post came across to in a negative way- I completely apologize. I am very sorry. If you ever feel like a post of mine is demeaning another person, I beg of you to assume that this is a mistake- to privately message me with a "Did you mean this????" Because I assure you most likely I did not.

To those of you who caught what I was trying to say in my last post- thank you as well. Glad to know that I'm on the same wave length as at least a few other people. (-;

I leave you with this picture from our weekend. It was a good weekend. And yet a hard one. Sometimes I can't write about the hard stuff, and this is probably one of those times. But today I am holding my children close and appreciating our small moments together. Happy Monday to all of you.

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