In a few short weeks you will be turning 4. This is kind of unbelievable to me because it seems like just yesterday I found out that I was pregnant with you.
I was so excited to see that positive pregnancy stick, and then so utterly devastated when your gender reveal ultrasound turned out to reveal so much more. You would not be normal- they told me.
They were so sorry. You had an extra chromosome, and their voices dripped with pity as they talked about your life suddenly becoming expendable- if we were to so choose.
They say that hindsight is 20/20. As I look back over the past four years of your life and the months before that after getting your diagnosis, I have to agree.
I watch you with your brothers- roughhousing with Carter and gently soothing Eli. I watch you read, babble, and play so imaginatively. I see the sparkle in your eye when you ask to go to school, and I laugh right with you while you dance to your favorite tunes. I cry with you when you're frustrated, and sometimes I wish that you had gotten a better mother to help you through tough communication issues. I love it when you snuggle up next to me on the couch and put your blonde head on my arm. I have a hard time not busting out into laughter when I catch you doing something naughty- like resting in the baby's rock 'n play while sucking on his pacifier and clutching his blanket. I rejoice when you eat well, and I shake my head at all the snacks you sneak through the afternoon right before snubbing your nose at dinner.
It is true- you are not normal. And yet you totally are.
You have the features that I feared- and yet- they are so beautiful. You are so beautiful. You are beyond my wildest hopes and dreams for a daughter.
But then, I strongly believe that there was more than luck at stake. There was a Creator up above who didn't look around for someone to "handle" you. He looked around for someone who needed you desperately to teach her so much about life that she didn't even realize that she didn't know. And he picked me.
God designed you perfectly. You are one of a kind. You are special. You fill an Addison-shaped hole in my heart....whichever cliche you want to use works for me. Because as far as I'm concerned- they are all true.
I am sorry I ever doubted your goodness in our lives. But thank you for so graciously teaching us about love and life. We are supposed to be teaching you, but more often than not the tables are turned, and I walk away with my mind blown yet again from an Addison lesson. Thank you. I think you are pretty amazing.
(who loves it when you now call for her by name when you need something)
p.s. can't wait to help you celebrate your big day
p.s.s. sorry we left your glasses at Papa's House this week...