Thursday, September 5, 2013

Pregnancy Food Lists Annoy Me

I am getting sick of the pregnancy paranoia "eat/what not to eat" lists.

Is it me or do things keep getting randomly added, changed, and or listed in a conflicting/confusing matter that makes me feel like I would be better off to just sit in a corner, go the starvation route, and let the baby eat off my fleshly thighs and stored up fat.

I'm not talking about things like drinking alcohol or pain/anxiety meds.

No, I'm talking things like- over easy eggs.

OVER EASY EGGS.

That has been a huge craving for me this pregnancy. Over easy eggs on slightly buttered wheat toast. Lately I have been adding in some steamed spinach between the egg and the toast. With a side of sliced strawberries or whatever fruit was on sale that week- this has been a daily DAILY meal for me since day one of this pregnancy. Either breakfast or lunch or sometimes dinner- this meal makes me physically feel good and combats the never ending dizziness. Plus- it is DELICIOUS and eggs are cheap.

I felt really good about consuming this meal...until I received an email from BabyCenter listing "foods to avoid during pregnancy." I clicked on over, prepared to feel good about myself and my careful eating habits- when I read

"Over easy eggs" in the DO NOT EAT/ Danger category. WHAT????

Apparently if the yolk is not cooked completely through- it is unsafe. UNSAFE.

I went to my baby doctor checkup yesterday all in a panic. "I HAVE BEEN EATING OVER EATING EGGS!" I confessed in a panic.

My doctor stared at me like I was crazy. She gave me similar look when I came into an appointment 10 weeks ago all in a tizzy over sprouts.

I sobbed about my avocado, tomato, cucumber, spinach, provolone cheese sub that I had been eating a lot of and topping with the evil SPROUTS that someone on Instagram pointed out was BABY POISON. OK,  maybe different wording was used. But at the slightest suggestion that sprouts had the possibility to make me horribly ill and should be AVOIDED during pregnancy....I immediately felt extremely ill. And matched every.single.salmonella symptom that I googled.

You would think that since this is my 3rd pregnancy, I would be all cool and chill about this subject. But no. I am paranoid to a T. And if you even mention that this orange juice I'm drinking is EVIL for pregnancy, I will no doubt begin to feel very sick. VERY.

So these lists annoy me. Especially since I get all worked up about these foods, call into my doctor's office, and they have never even HEARD of these foods being a pregnancy "thing."

I was feeling good about avoiding my beloved roast beef deli sandwich (yum!), staying faaaaar away from a nice grilled hot dog with sweet relish (do you realize how hard this is to do for an ENTIRE summer?), switching out my coffee for 2/3 decaf (mostly so I can have 2 cups), not to mention almost completely avoiding any type of pop/soda/junk food. But it seems like every time I turn around- I am in trouble for being a naughty pregnancy eater without even realizing it.

With my last pregnancy- tuna, lobster, shrimp, and anything with mercury was a big NO NO but now it can be consumed once a week? What changed? Also? Now cheeses are a big deal. BIG DEAL.  Goodbye Greek salad loaded with feta cheese. That feels like a new rule to me. Maybe I just didn't notice my other pregnancies? And you're supposed to eat a lot of salad and fresh veggies but NOT if it's pre-prepared from the deli? Or not completely organic? Or not harvested by holy nuns in the perfect world? You're supposed to eat certain fatty foods for good brain development for the baby but AVOID TOO MANY FATTY FOODS as to not gain too much weight and cause any sort of extra health problems at the end of your pregnancy? And heaven forbid there be a fatty food that you actually CRAVE. Avoid too much salt...but when I went in and had low blood pressure they told me to eat MORE SALT to help bring up my pressure.

Sometimes I feel like these lists read:

During pregnancy....it is safe to eat chocolate
                            ....but avoid chocolate as a general rule because of the caffeine content
                            .... yes eat chocolate
                            ....DO NOT EAT CHOCOLATE when overly sweetened
                            ....chocolate is a good pregnancy dessert
                           .....eating too much chocolate can cause your baby to be born with two heads
                           .....to sum up:
So yeah. Yesterday my baby boy was measuring 2 weeks ahead. No doubt because of that extra head he has sprouted due to too much whole milk with a side of m&ms. Hey, I had to replace my over easy egg meals with something...

Yes, I know that these lists do have SOME value, and certain things are extremely important to take note of...but also you have to remember how cranky pregnant women get. Especially when their over easy egg meals are taken away. At least the peace and good feelings about those meals are taken away.

What surprised you most about pregnancy eating and what was the hardest for you to cut out? Do these lists annoy you too? Or am I the only crazy one here?????


Like peanut butter on the fingers of a curious toddler, this post is begging to be shared.

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