Rain is falling in sheets outside. The air holds a slight chill. It's the kind of day that demands First Nap immediately after breakfast. Sadly, I'm the only one who got that memo.
I sit on my couch, feet propped up on a pile of needs-to-be-folded laundry. One hand is trying to keep my cup of coffee level, the other is helping to assist the wiggling mass of toddler bodies climbing up on top of me.
I find myself saying sentences like "NO, we do NOT kick each other in the face" and "Carter's head is NOT a stepping stool."
But eventually they settle. Two warm heads rest on my chest. Chubby bare feet dangle over the edge of the couch. One at a time they turn their faces up to mine for a kiss and a smile, and then they rest on me again. Still- warm- snuggly.
I think about my to do list for this morning. Fold laundry. Clean up kitchen. Vacuum.
I think about our trip away over the weekend and how the word "vacation" has taken on such a new meaning to me with two toddlers who love to run away...and struggle to sleep in beds that are not their own. In my mind I compare it to shopping in a recliner store without the ability to sit down. You can see the restfulness available. You comment on the extreme comfort of the product. And yet you stand and watch others enjoy it as you try to keep track of two small bodies full of mischief and a long range plan for trouble.
But in spite of the new meaning of vacation, it was still a wonderful weekend in its own way. Full of memories and moments of firsts for the kids. I think of all of this while I juggle my arm-full of toddler goodness and try to get my coffee cup to my lips for a sip without spilling.
I ignore the voice in my head that tells me to get up and get going! This laundry isn't going to fold itself! So much work to do to continue to dig out from vacation. But to me- there are things that are much more important than a clean house. Things like expanding out this moment as far as possible- just me and my babes snuggled up on the couch talking and laughing together.
I stroke blonde heads the way I know that they love. I show them pictures on Instagram and wait for them to name the things that they know. I flip it over to camera mode and let them look at themselves in the mirror. I wrap both my arms around them and just enjoy the rare moment of stillness from both of them at once.
Yes, the weekend vacation wasn't as relaxing as it would have been before children. I am learning that although life might look very different and things like vacations will never be the same- it is all still good in a new way. On this rainy day as I sit in my own house- chores neglected-children snuggled up tight- I decide to claim this moment right here as my vacation of rest. And it is perfect.