Something is happening. Something is horribly wrong. I have been strapped in this carseat for hours and hours and hours with no end in sight. Is it the end of the world? Am I going crazy?
I heard mommy say something about “Sleep”. Simply hilarious. I silently thanked her for the much-needed chuckle and continued on my wonderings. Perhaps this was a test? If I could fight whatever it was I was supposed to be fighting against and come out the victor, then maybe they would take me out of this padded prison?
The “sleep” part seems to be my only clue since it has been repeated SO MANY TIMES LATELY. The constant repetition worries me. Maybe mommy is losing her mind? Clearly, my only option is fight sleep since she’s no doubt going for some sort of reverse psychology thing. Great idea! For the next twelve hours I’ll randomly scream and sing and throw things at Addison to help my cause. Pretty much I'll do anything BUT sleep. I can best this wily foe! And since I don’t know what an hour is, I’ll just do it FOREVER until a better option comes along. YAY!
At first whatever this torture is didn’t seem too bad. I was only strapped up for a bottle or two and then we stopped for some French fries and McNuggets. Delicious (the best ones were the ones I stole off of Addison’s tray. Why were hers so much more flavorful than mine?)
However, right before we sat down to eat, my clever escape (just stretching my legs!) to explore the kitchen was cut terribly short by mommy. Rude. Sure everyone was screaming and waving for me to get out, but if you didn’t want me in the McDonald’s kitchen, why did you put ice cream cones at eye level that screamed “CARTER, CARTER. COME PLAY WITH US!”. Seriously people. I was just listening to the very persuasive ice cream cones. No need to yell about the boy loose in the kitchen. I wasn’t loose. I was obeying my life calling.
Mommy also did the same sort of interrupting when I tried to climb on board the hotel elevator with another family without her. This family WANTED a little boy. I know. The little girls were winking at me. It’s simple math, really.
To sum up 1. I’ve decided not to sleep ever again 2. McDonald’s sends some rather mixed messages 3. Mommy doesn’t want me to have any fun.
Yup, probably the end of the world. Best release the tension in my bowels and then do some seat dancing to make sure it’s properly smeared. Who said revenge was a dish best served cold?
p.s. mommy said something about us "being HERE!" whatever that means. Can't wait to see the look on her face when she sees what I did with her computer that she left too close to my seat....