I would continue this rant to myself often, allowing myself to elaborate on what I thought I DID deserve. All of those "things" were the farthest thing from a child with a disability- anything to do with Down syndrome- or the "thing" inside my uterus that I used to think was my perfect baby.
It was a dark time. One that I have written about often- stating the same thing in many different ways- disguised by fear, doubt, and (I can admit it) selfishness-
I don't deserve this.
And yet, as I have traveled this road for a little distance, bouncing precariously over the bumps and rocks in my way, I have gotten used to this new rhythm of travel. Those bumps have evened out, and something that I thought would ALWAYS be the worst thing in my life has been overtaken by other, normal WORST things (see the last two posts) like any other, normal mom.
My little girl whose life I dreaded- whose existence I tried to pray away- whose life I couldn't see because of the Down syndrome cloud- has turned out to be far better than I deserve.
She has taught me so much about life, love, and achievement. She has brightened my life with a new kind of happiness and broadened my horizons with new acceptance.
Is life all "kisses and rainbows" now? No- I still have my struggles here and there. Addison struggles in areas that other little girls her age don't have to. But together we work through those struggles and become stronger because of them. I wouldn't trade her for any other little girl because not only is she perfect, but she is
Better than I deserve
A while back I saw a new "Better than I deserve" tshirt design come out from a friend's incredible design company- Ugmonk. I have long been an admirer of Ugmonk's designs. Look through their website and you will be amazed. The design talent in their products is legendarily awesome.
My brother is a fan as well ever since I sent him an Ugmonk birthday present:
(...the tshirt...this is my actual brother...and yes he is available...but not as the giveaway) (-:
photo credit: Andrea Sanford
Now? Not only can I say it out loud, but Ugmonk has graciously offered to give away a tshirt of choice to one lucky (lucky) commenter. Seriously. look through their designs and pick your favorite....and while you're there? Get some Christmas shopping done. Best gifts- ever. Right, Jonathan?
Ok go- go right now to peruse Ugmonk's site...and then come back to enter the giveaway. This giveaway will end Wednesday October 17th at 12:00am EST.
The anniversary gift sets or premium items are not part of this giveaway, but feel free to purchase one on your own!
Good luck! Enter the giveaway here:
a Rafflecopter giveaway