Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Just Write

It's 1:30pm and I'm on my second pot of coffee. Carter is awake, looking like a miniature teenager in his sweatpants with bold navy blue stripes down the gray legs. He's walking aimlessly through the house, searching everywhere for his sister who is still asleep. The reason she is still comatose is most likely due to all that adorable screaming and flailing she did in her gymnastics class this morning. Maybe. This same reason might also explain the need for a second pot of coffee.

That time of sickness, the can-we-make-it moments seem weeks away and yet it was only days. The sanitized laundry is on the couch waiting for me to fold, the dishes are in the dishwasher poised for me to hit that magical button that does all the work for me, the constant carpet of cracker crumbs is temporarily gone. Life feels normal, comfortable, and ready for me to dive back into my writing and exercising schedule.

It's the perfect season to be feeling better. I love this time of year. The heat gradually fades into the slight coolness of early fall that slowly (or not so slowly) fades even to a deeper coolness of late fall. It means sweaters and boots and puffy vests and pumpkin everything. The bite to the air and the swirling of orange and red leaves in my yard create a special kind of happiness. This year I will have two babies running around in those leaves. Two. Last year I was a million months pregnant with one of them and the other was a very stubborn little girl who refused to walk through the leaves let alone run. A year can truly change everything.

I'm hoping that the next few months will change everything for my book. As the characters in my book become more and more real, I find myself wanting to hide in a corner and dedicate myself solely to helping them live their story without taking time to share those words with anyone else. Because sharing means the possibility of failure. Opening the door to opportunity means creating an easy way for a door to be slammed in my face.

But as I look out to the lush green of my front lawn and picture it soon covered in the leaves of fall and plan out two adorable Halloween costumes (matching or coordinating?) I can picture success so vividly it's almost like a chapter in my book that I need to pause and write it all out before I forget. But the hiding in the corner bit is a hard one to get over- at least temporarily. If I seem silent or distant on Facebook, I apologize. The truth is, I'm caught up in a world of made-up characters and dramatic story lines that begins and ends solely on my computer. Sometimes I forget about the real people. I'm going to mark that down as something to work on...Perhaps the coming of the fall will draw my attention back to the real world (if Facebook can be considered a "real world"-cough cough).

*As I arose from my computer to get another cup of coffee, I noticed that the pile of laundry did not fold itself while I was typing. There's a machine for everything- why hasn't someone invented that yet?

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