Friday, August 10, 2012

Ever Have a Workout Like This?

You enter the room where the Zumba class is held. Mirrors are on all sides of the room. Some of them make you look skinner than others.

You stand in front of the one that makes you look the thinnest and pretend to have a stretch routine.

You look around and notice the majority of people wearing black and you silently enjoy the rare moment of ultimate coolness since you picked the lucky color to wear as well.

Loud music pulses the room, getting your blood stirred up and ready to ZUMBA!!!!

One minute into the class: I COMPLETELY ROCK! Hopping, dancing, smiling. Life is good. Why don't I come here more often?

Ten minutes into the class: Sweat pouring down your face and muscles screaming in agony, you feel that you're ready to go home now. If you were doing this on DVD at home, this is the moment you would begin to lounge on the couch and watch the rest of the workout from a horizontal position, drinking coffee, thinking how you'll rock those moves "next time" (and wondering if you could convince someone to bring you a snack.)

Eleven minutes into the class: Is the clock broken? How does everyone else know where to put their feet and I'm always a step behind? Did I miss some sort of pre-class workout memo?

Twenty minutes into the class: I will probably die soon. This was such a huge mistake. I don't understand how that old lady dancing next to me has barely even broken into a sweat yet. Is she a real person?

Thirty minutes into the class: I can't believe the class is only half over. I think I just twisted my ankle. I'm sure it's broken. If I fall to the ground will anyone notice or will they just keep dancing using my unconscious body as an obstacle to jump over?

Thirty-five minutes into the class: I miss my couch.

Forty minutes into the class: What is that instructor on and how do I get it? Is that red bull in her water bottle? How does she get her feet to move so fast? My tennis shoes must be a lot heavier than hers.

Forty-five minutes into the class: I wonder if my children will miss me after I'm gone? Hey, remember when I used to have muscles that didn't hate me? If I call my husband will he come pick me up and carry me out to the car? And bring chocolate?

Fifty minutes into the class: Seriously why aren't we starting the warmup song yet? UNCLE UNCLE! We really should have specified a safety word before class because my screaming is only blending in with the music.

Fifty-five minutes into the class: Warmup already? I was just starting to get the hang of those dance moves!

Fifty-nine minutes into the class: I COMPLETELY ROCK! I should come to tomorrow's class too.

Next day: I think I'm going to lie on the couch all day and eat junk food since I burned 1,000,000,000 calories last night with all of my awesome dancing in class.

Next day at night: Gained 5 pounds. Decide to never work out again.

I'm not saying that this EVER happens to me...just a hypothetical situation...of course....(ahem)

1 comment:

  1. Haaaaaaa!!!!! You would sooo be my friend in real life Deanna!


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