Tuesday, July 31, 2012


Last Monday Addison felt a bit warm, so I rushed her to the doctor. Her temperature was 101.9. The Pediatrician said not to be concerned; it was just a summer cold; her lungs (always a concern because of her pulmonary hypertension) sounded fine. We toughed it out all last week as she battled her cold.

Her fever went away on Wednesday and came back Thursday afternoon and then went away again on Friday. And then Saturday- when all physical symptoms were gone, she started screaming and pitching a fit over everything and, well, nothing. We took her to Moes for a cheese quesadilla- she screamed bloody murder. I buckled her in her carseat- she screamed. We played quietly at home- she screamed. We ate as a family- she screamed. We went outside- she screamed.

While this was unusual behavior for her, she seemed to be feeling fine, so we tried to talk through it with her. Nothing. Yesterday at 8:00pm when she was still screaming- nothing I did helped- I finally called the Pediatrician back. No physical symptoms (other than a lingering cough)- but I wanted to rule out anything physical before we assumed this was a behavioral phase even though I felt silly even calling him because it so obviously seemed to be a behavior thing.
 This morning we buckled back up and went back to the doctors....and it turns out that little miss Addison has pneumonia/possibly bronchitis. Her screaming was the only way she knew to communicate with us that something was off. #Guilt
After I published my post/rant yesterday, the day went downhill very fast, and I felt like I was being tested with what I stated so strongly. I thought that perhaps my next challenge was to deal with a child who has screaming tantrums- can't communicate why she's screaming- but is no longer happy to play and just- be. Screaming, screaming, screaming all the time. (I really thought I was going crazy after just three days of it)

Even after contemplating that as my future (and pulling out most of my hair), I still meant every word that I typed. Especially when I looked into Addison's eyes, watched her calm down as she listened to me talk to her and saw a person trying to reach out in her own way even though it wasn't my preferred method of communication. Because at the end of the day it isn't about me at all. And sometimes it takes a sick child to really reinforce that.

I will admit that I was relieved to hear that this was a physical something. Definitely much easier to deal with than a behavioral issue. (Assuming that Addison gets better soon!)
But I guess I've felt like a rather lousy/disconnected blogger lately because I haven't been able to reply back to your many sweet and helpful comments. I've been distracted with my post-workshop book edit (which is going really well in spite of everything else). And now that distraction has been overtaken by that of a sick child- my #1 priority.

Oh well. I will be back in full force soon....I think...I do appreciate each of your comments even if I can't reply back to each of them!

Meanwhile, tonight I am thankful for the silence of two sleeping babies. Not going to take that for granted anytime soon...

P.S. Winner of the Toys R Us Gift card is Samantha Petrie. Samantha- could you please email me? (dsmith0806@gmail.com)

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Thanks for reading about my Everything and Nothing. I would love to hear from you!