Wednesday, June 20, 2012

If Children Were Computers

1. The day can start when you're ready to start the day instead of the early hours of the morning when  certain little ones have tired of this sleeping bit. Nights would be uninterrupted

2. When you get super overwhelmed, you can "go unplugged" for a day and get a break.

3. Dirty diapers, spit up, and stubborn eaters at meal time are a simple matter of reprogramming.

4. Labor, water weight, and stretch marks would be nonexistent. You put in your order and wait for someone else to do all of the work.

5. You can hit the mute button when the whining simply won't stop.

6. You can delete the word "NO"

7. If you want to go out for the night, no need to find a sitter, simply put them "to sleep".

8. Facebook time would mean that you're spending time with your kids

9. Your keyboard won't lose keys because your children will have a vested interest in keeping them unbroken.

10. If our parenting expectations aren't met? We can exchange for a more compatible machine.


1. Hugging wouldn't be as cuddly

2. Kissing a computer screen is just weird

3. Where's the fun in never being surprised?

4. If we could change challenges to "easy" with a few typed lines, we would never grow.

5. We would complain that our computers aren't robots- doing household chores and such.

6. When Facebook changes yet again, we will be attempted to abandon our children along with the fickle program.

7. The thought of a computer coming to visit us in a nursing home someday is sad.

8. You won't learn more about yourself through trying to teach this "obedience" thing to the strong willed tiny people.

9. A computer can't smile at you and genuinely laugh.

10. Computers with defects are discarded. A human who is different is a gift.

This is what happens when I have a half hour left of writing time and JUST CAN'T CONCENTRATE! It's time to go home early and trade in this machine for my two little monkeys.
Happy Wednesday!

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