Friday, May 11, 2012

Society Blind To Beauty?

Earlier this week, I saw the "Mother's Inspiring Video About Her Blind Baby Boy" posted over and over again on facebook:
in one word: LOVE

Watching this, I was inspired, amazed and thankful. I cried tears of admiration for the strength that this mom possesses and willingly shared with us through this video.

I could see the pride and sheer thankfulness for the precious life that she has been entrusted to raise.

True love in motherhood- having a baby who is not what you expected or perhaps even wanted, looking past all of the extra baggage, and accepting him for exactly who he is.

My heart was overflowing and tears were running down my cheeks from the emotional impact of the video.
Foolishly I decided to check out some of the comments on various postings of this video.

Smiling through the tears, I read the comments of many who responded the same way I did.

Then I ran across some comments tagged "worst" and I wondered what bad thing could anyone possibly say about this heartwarming video?

My jaw dropped as I read the many, many, many hateful comments that people were saying about how selfish this mom was, the horrible life he (Christian) will have, how love isn't enough, how their tax dollars would have to support him, and someone just typed "Kill It!"

I found these comments to be very telling of our shallow culture and the reason why abortion of a baby with an abnormality is becoming more and more the norm.

My "LOVE" reaction then turned to "HEARTBROKEN" that so many people could watch that tribute of love and beauty and still respond so hatefully.

No longer is he a baby- but an "it" merely because of a unique design. WHAT???

First of all, I HATE how the online community allows us to go under "anonymous" or coded user names and say nasty things just for kicks (this gives way too much power to people to sound like critical experts on subjects that they really know NOTHING about)

Second, as I walked away from these comments, I found that I couldn't stay silent. Granted, those people will most likely never read my blog, but maybe they were speaking what others hesitantly thought when seeing this video but didn't express aloud.

So, in case you were thinking the same thing, this is how I would respond to those comments if given the chance. (comments taken from msn.com)

-please keep in mind my responses lean towards a somewhat sarcastic nature as that's the only way to fairly respond to some of these comments without resorting to some type of witchcraft cursing (which just isn't my thing)-

Comment #1
"It would have been somewhat different if the parents had no clue and weren't given a heads up and just found out at the birth. But, I'm sorry, refusing to abort a fetus with known severe birth defects at that early in the gestation is purely selfish on the parents' part! All you religious do-gooders are plain nuts! God didn't create this little human being to be like that -- a birth defect did. Are you going to be there to support, nurture and care for this child? WHO will care for him when his parents are no longer able? How much state and federally allocated money will he use up in his lifetime? Why should the taxpayers be responsible when the parents were so irresponsible??? WHO will support his parents when they are unable to work a productive adult job because they are tethered to a severely disabled dependent? How can this child possibly have a normal life? Did anyone happen to think of the extreme emotional pain this child will experience as he grows and becomes more aware?" 

My response:
So now it's "purely selfish"  and "irresponsible" to give your child a chance at LIFE???!! And to be clear- you're saying that God now makes mistakes? Wow, that's not arrogant at all. Furthermore, what parent is given a guarantee that his/her child won't still need support and care long beyond what society expects? Isn't that a risk that ANY parent takes? And I'm so glad that you're worried about state and federally allocated money. Heaven forbid it should go towards helping someone's life be a little easier. Perhaps we should instead put that money towards beefing up the prison facilities for all of those serial murders. Or better yet, maybe we should randomly select the babies that look like they'll be future prisoners and kill them now to avoid all that pain and so that we can best spend all of that federally allocated money on saving endangered species and such. And speaking of "emotional pain"- do they know that you have a computer in your cell?

Comment #2
"Is it really fair, to set up a child for a lifetime of rejection, humiliation and pain? When Christian gets older, beginning to understand his condition and what strength and willpower it takes to live with this, probably never being able to live a normal life and have a wife and family...we can't forsee the future, but his parents have taken a lot of responsibility and I don't know whether anyone will be able to live up to this and make this child's life bearable.
Face it: the majority of people is ignorant, cruel and there is little understanding for a condition like this. Christian will pay a high price for his mother's decision and it is an admirable decision, but was it the right one?"

My response:
I can think of many children who have a lifetime of "rejection, humiliation and pain" even though they have no physical or mental differences. Does that mean as soon as some possible "pain" might be involved that life is no longer worth living? Wow, that's a great message to send to the next generation. Just because someone's uniqueness is a little more obvious, are you REALLY going to sit on your high horse and pretend that YOU know BEST for this baby's life that you haven't even MET? Wow. Did you even think for a minute that his life could serve a purpose deeper than what might be initially obvious to YOU-the all knowing internet reader? No wonder they elected you as President of the "Ignorant, Cruel and Little Understanding" club.

Comment #3
"An extraordinarily selfish act, most likely fueled by religion. They've seen the physical problems - what happened to the development of his brain?" 

My response:
I'm less worried about his brain and more about worried what it must be like for you to live without a heart.

Comment #4
"I understand that you love your child, but this he will never be accepted in society. Honestly the world is full of terrible people like myself. Wherever your son goes societry, myself included will judge him based on his looks, not for his character. When I first saw your son he truly scared me, and there are plenty of others who most likely feel the same way. I truly wish that your son has a happy life, but that of course will never happen. It is every mothers dream for their child to get married, have a successful job, and to posses many friends. Those three things will not happen. Based on what society says is attractive seeing as to how you son doesn't fit that criteria he will not find a woman who loves him. Now as for a job, potential employers will not hire him for fear of his looks. Finally as for friends he will be judged as an 'eyeless freak' before people get to know him. Im sure your son is a fine boy, but I want you to understand that he will never be accepted, the world is too much of an evil place. Now in conclusion please remember right now your son is a hot topic so right now the media is all over him, in a couple of weeks you will be forgotten, and your son will begin to realize just how much his life sucks. May God have pity on your son."




My response:
How brave of you to admit how you walk around judging people by their appearances. How prophetic of you to say that "he will never be accepted". How bold of you to say that your criteria for happiness in life is "to get married, to have a successful job, and to possess many friends" I hope you never go in for surgery someday because the surgeon will no doubt be surprised to see that your body doesn't extend past your skin. I hope that all of those high school girls struggling with body image and junior high boys trying to find themselves never read your descriptions of what "a happy life" looks like. Maybe you should copy and paste a Hollywood approved image to this comment so that we can know EXACTLY what we should all be trying to look like so that we can all find "someone who loves us" and earn the acceptance of society. Here's a thought- what if we give this boy a chance to help CHANGE the society that apparently is in desperate need of a too-much-focused-on-appearances makeover???

Comment #5
"...I personally think that Christian would be better off with The Lord....because no one will be able to see him as a human being."

My response:
Everyone rejoice!!! God now has an online log in! Whether life or death is right for someone can now be decided! And who knew that the thing that decides who appears to be human and who is not is whether or not he/she has eyes. WHAT a relief to get some answers, finally. I'm pretty nearsighted. Does that make me (gasp) only half human????

Comment #6
"That mom will have such a hard, horrible life"

My response:
Congratulations to you for being able to see into the future!!! How lucky you must be to know EXACTLY what your future will look like based on what your today looks like. And also- will you rewarded soon for your discovery of what an EASY life looks like?? I had no idea that such a thing even existed!


(at this point I just STOPPED reading. These comments seemed to cover the sentiments of many)
_______________________________________________________
I realize that when anything goes viral, criticism will open up in an ugly way. But I also think that this is very telling of our society at large.

To the mom of the baby with no eyes who was brave enough to defend him against criticism:
Kudos to you.
Your son is beautiful, and your message is powerful. As mothers day approaches, I hope you are celebrated in a big way because you are deserving of whatever praise comes your way for being brave enough to put your story out there the way you have. Thank you for helping make the world aware that no matter what the diagnosis, every baby is worthy of love, respect and LIFE. Thank you for your inspiration and willingness to let your struggles crack into the hardened layer of our society so that acceptance and true love and can seep down into the most calloused of hearts. Instead of allowing the "different" to be hidden away, we need to let them teach and change us in a new way. Those who shrug away the interaction and rashly assume the different to be better off dead just show how much they badly NEED to be changed.

I hope that this isn't the last that we'll be seeing of you and your wonderful son. Love like yours deserves to displayed for the world to see. I can't wait to see the impact his life will have on so many, led so lovingly through life by such an amazing mother such a yourself.

Thank you.

2 comments:

  1. Some of these hurtful comments will have been written by people who do not have a family yet and can never know what they would do if they were in the same circumstances . Others will have children , what would they do if accident or illness made them different . None of use know what life has in store for us or our children .

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  2. Deanna, thanks for writing what many of us are thinking. From past comments you know I dont have children, but I'm "one fantastic Auntie"! I can't imagine that for one second I would love my nieces and nephews any less if they had a so-called "defect". If you have taught me anything over the time I've been reading your blog, God doesn't make mistakes. And I have to completely agree with mother noah, many people get their so-called "perfect" child, but what happens if there is an accident or cancer? If these "haters" knew their child would get cancer, would they abort? These people need to come back to reality. I can't even believe those who admit to being so judgemental and hateful. Sounds like they need a good, long, hard look into themselves.

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