Wednesday, October 26, 2011

doctor's appointment/pre-registration

Today Carter and Addison had a joint Pediatrician appointment- Carter's 8 week checkup and Addison's pre-surgery physical. Thinking ahead, I had "booked" Addison's PCA to come with us so that we could handle the kids one on one in the tiny doctor's office that didn't provide room for a double stroller.

I'm going to claim mommy brain for the fact that I thought the appointment was at 3pm when it was actually at 10am. oops. We did make it to the appointment, but alas, no PCA to help with Addison.

Seeing how Addison's beautiful pink umbrella stroller was dirty and Carter was sound asleep in his carseat, I chose to carry her over one hip and him in the carseat. I was a bit frazzled upon arrival as I had torn the house apart looking for the physical paperwork that I had been sent in the mail. I remembered putting it someplace safe so that I would remember to take it to today's appointment. After leaving the house in shambles...I found the paperwork...in the car.

Anyway, after losing my cell phone in the waiting room, having Carter vomit all over me while Addison was diving head first off of the bench in the room, watching Addison tear yards of paper off of the examining bench while the Pediatrician jumped to save the equipment that he had stored on top of the bench, juggling two roly poly babies whining for attention (Addison weighed in at 20 pounds...Carter at 13), soothing Carter after his shots, changing two diapers as they both decided that this was the time for blowouts...

I was not in a good mood as I drove home. My cell phone (which had been waiting for me at the receptionists desk) rang with the hospital's number...it was a nurse anesthesiologist that was filling out paperwork about Addison's upcoming eye surgery. She told me that she had about a half hour of questions to ask me about Addison. Groan. Seriously, you would think that with as much history as Addison has with the hospital, they would have everything on file. Anyway, now juggling the phone, carrying a falling asleep Addison on one hip and a snoring Carter in his infant seat, we barely made it in the house while I continued the interview.

As I answered more and more questions, I got more and more irritated. Sometimes it seemed like the nurse calling didn't even listen to what she was saying.  I got both kids down for naps while on the phone and then sat at my computer to type out some of the more unbelievable questions. I put in parenthesis what I really wanted to say.

I like short, sweet pre-registration calls. What I endured today (30 minutes of useless questions) really set me on edge...but can you really blame me?

(there were many more questions...I just picked out my favorites...that's why it seems a bit scattered)

Have you been exposed to bed bugs in the last 30 days?
no

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Does the patient regularly consume alcohol?
um no. (are there many 20 month old alcoholics?)

Drugs?
no. (yeah, caught her smoking a joint in her crib the other day...)

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Does the patient have any siblings?
yes, a brother

Younger or older?
younger. He's seven weeks old.

Wow, you're pregnant again?
What? no. He's seven weeks old.

Wait you already had him? How long ago?
seven weeks ago. (do we need to get a translator over here?)

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So it sound like she's doing pretty well with her Trisomy 31 thing, huh?
horrified silence (are you sure you're an actual nurse?)

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This next set of questions is regarding the parents and parent's parents. Your parents and the father's parents. The mother's parents and the husband's? husband's parents. So the parent's of the parents. Your parents and your husband's parents.
ok. (So to be clear- just my parents, right?)
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So, it says here that she had a g-tube surgically placed when she was 3 weeks old.
That's correct.

At the time was she bottle fed or breast fed?
Um, she was g-tube fed.

Oh, right.

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We recommend that you bring the patient to the facility a week ahead of time to familiarize her with where her surgery is going to be taking place.
(Um, she's a 20 month old who can't see an arm lengths away, and she's coming in for EYE surgery. Pretty sure that would be a useless trip.)

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what color was she when she was born?
(what does this have to do with anything?)

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Have you been exposed to bedbugs since the last time I asked you?
(are you serious right now?)

She kept going off script and asking stuff about Addison's Down syndrome. I guess I can see why she was curious, but still. And then she said "bummer I won't be there the day of her surgery...she sounds like a ball of fun."

Thank goodness I don't have to worry about her being in charge of my baby during surgery...

(and dear Carter and Addison...feel free to take a nice, long nap today.....)

11 comments:

  1. Could it be that she didn't remember there was an actual person at the other end?!

    Hope you have a break this afternoon.

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  2. I know this really isn't probably what you want to hear after such an awful day and I know the day isn't even half way over...but you really could do stand up comedy!

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  3. haha...seriously...those questions are amazing...the "have you been exposed to bed bugs since the last time i asked you" was my favorite though. too funny. and i have no idea how you carried two babies...i seriously look like a babysitter when i am carrying camden in one hand and a drink in the other...since he is constantly falling or squirming out of my hands...2 babies...seriously amazing!

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  4. Not a fun morning! I hope you got your wish with a nice long nap! I'm also really glad that nurse will not be there on the day of Addison's surgery - scary!

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  5. Oh my WORD! Sounds like you did great even though that was not a good morning. I had a nurse once ask me if Ds was caused by her vaccines. Yep...

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  6. Good grief! Thank goodness she won't be there-and you really should have said more of what you were actually feeling-sounds like she would not have understood it anyways. Hope they napped for you!!

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  7. First off, you're Wonder Woman!

    That lady would be funny if you had nothing else to do, but gosh!

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  8. Wow, was that really a nurse or just a clueless phone service rep? I'm amazed you kept your cool; I get irritated at the one question automated preregistration for my one kid, lol. Hope you got a loooooong nap!

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  9. I sooo can relate to your intense irritation at these medical phone calls. I'm now a mom of 8 children, all adopted. But I was also a foster mommy several years with a houseful of young children and their full schedule of dr appts, therapies, surgeries and hospital stays. I have had to endure these ridiculous phone calls numerous times...while attempting to keep house, cook, & parent like a ventriloquist who is playing charades! It confuses me that in this day of such sophisticated technology that the medical field can't seem to at least give the option to conduct business with patients online. Really? Fill out a clipboard of forms when most if not all the info is already in their computer system!? I really had to handwrite our address times 10! When we changed doctors I seriously asked for a packet of forms to be mailed to us so I could work on it in paces. Why not electronic forms and online registration? User name; password, copy & paste, type, scan whatever, I'm for it. Seriously.
    I'm sorry. Guess I have had some long overdue venting lying dormant! :) I love you; love your blog! Thank you for sharing your family with the world! God bless you in everything! ~Melissa (realmom8)

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  10. I am so sorry. I know that had to have been the most annoying conversation ever, but the questions really did make me LOL!!! I can't believe medical professionals are that STUPID!!!!

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  11. As a nurse...if that woman really is a nurse, I would be tempted to take your list in and show her supervisor. Ridiculous. Yes, they were funny, but more importantly it just showed how completely clueless the woman was and frankly, I'd be worried about her being in charge of anyone going into or coming out of surgery. But that's just me. And as a nurse, I tend to get really irritated with other medical professionals who aren't a little more on top of things.

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