Friday, September 23, 2011

Newborn Manipulation

My newborn is an evil genius.

He knows that the minute I fall asleep, he is the farthest thing from my mind as I dream of eight hours of uninterrupted sleep and perhaps a restful vacation. Preferring to have his tiny universe revolve solely around him at all times, this just won't do for his attention greedy self.

Without fail, every time my sleep starved body lies onto my oh-so-soft mattress, he immediately senses his loss of power over my subconscious and instantaneously screams awake.

Who would have thought that someone so tiny and innocent looking could be capable of such cruel mind games?

This is especially true during the day. After being up quite frequently with him throughout the night, a tiny little nap during the day can fuel me a long way. And I try. Honestly I do. Aaron comes home to a super cranky wife and well rested children and makes the poor decision to illogically wonder out loud why I didn't take a nap with them.

I try to explain, but he doesn't get it. He won't admit for a second that his sweet little son would manipulate my attempted naps in such a fashion.

He doesn't understand.

Scenario: Carter is in the middle of a very long, sound nap when I finally decide that it's safe to try a nap myself.

I drag my weary self to our very inviting bed. It calls out to me in a sing song fashion "We've missed you". My pillows harmonize with the bed while the fleece sheets shout in panic wondering where I've been the last few weeks. Climbing underneath the soft covers and positioning myself perfectly between the necessary pillows and blankets, I feel the mattress reach up and envelope me in a warm, welcoming hug. As I sink lower into the spot that perfectly forms around each of my still present post pregnancy lumps, I sigh and allow myself to relax. My breathing slows, the tension departs, a small smile appears.

This is what heaven must feel like. True bliss.

Just as I feel myself overtaken by the first vestiges of the sleep that I have been so desperately craving-without fail- a tiny whimper from the blue nursery quickly escalates into a wail that ends in a scream so blood curdling that I imagine he has flung his body out of his crib onto the floor. Surely he is laying on the carpet bleeding out. Why else would he scream so horrifically?

Sleep now the farthest thing from my mind, I run sluggishly across the hall into his room. The little stinker is in his crib, crying- sometimes for food- sometimes he's lonely- sometimes he has a burp that just appeared from nowhere and needs help getting out. Sigh. Really? He's just making up reasons to keep me from my nap. He sensed that I was about to fall asleep..and that would just not do. If I was up and doing housework, he would have slept for another hour and a half, easy.

He wants to be the most wonderful thing in my life right now, and he realizes that he is competing strongly with  that coveted nap. Silly boy.

Sometimes I'm naive enough to calm him, put him back down and attempt for the second time a power nap in the short time I have remaining until Addison awakens. Evil genius strikes again. and again. and again.

Most days I finally give up and go get another cup of coffee. The bold flavor combined with the sweet creamer blended pleasantly into a beautiful mug does a little to soothe my exhausted self. And while I sip the steaming beverage, baby brother sleeps peacefully, knowing that I am awake. and thinking about him.

They say not to have favorites, but little Miss Chubbs sleeps 12 hours a night and (mostly) takes a 3 hour nap every afternoon. hmmmmmm. It would seem that Addison has much to teach her little brother. (yes, I know I've been horribly spoiled)

Meanwhile, I am the lady with the giant bags under my eyes and the mug of coffee taped to one hand since my fingers are too tired to actually hold onto it.

Good thing my evil genius is so stinkin' cute...and cuddles so sweetly...It's hard to hold it against him...


  1. Oh, I do empathize....but, lol! Does he give you a huge grin when you pick him up and you realize he MEANT to manipulate you? Argh, so stinkin cute and soooooooo aggrevating!

  2. Hehehehe. Your description of blissfully being absorbed by your bed just made me want to crawl back into mine, but alas, I'm at work. *sigh*

  3. that's great to hear, Addison sleeps 15 hours a day!At least she gives you a break once in a while.

    I love your new header!

    regards from Switzerland


  4. I know what you mean! I cant get a decent nap out of my 3 month old for anything but she does sleep great at night so I guess I shouldn't fuss too much. And I agree with the husbands not getting it. They have NO IDEA how manipulative their sweet little angels actually are!

  5. I've so been there! Landon was an excellent sleeper and then I had Sutter...I swear the second I closed my eyes he woke up, never failed! I will say (and I know this doesn't sound soon) but for the past few months both boys nap at the same time everyday and they both sleep 12 hrs a I said I know it doesn't help now but before you know it sleep will once again be restored to your house!

    Hang in there, you're doing great!

  6. When nursing, doesn't the caffeine from the coffee get to the baby? Would he sleep better if you didn't drink it? Just wondering...

  7. How about co-sleeping? That's the only way I got any sleep during my son's first year of life. It doesn't take long before you learn to nurse in your sleep, too - not necessarily the best sleep but hey, a sleep-deprived mom takes what she can get! :)

  8. It is so hard to be tired. I was so miserable when the 2nd was born because it was the first time I really had no choice as to when to sleep. Zero control. Now with the 3rd I have totally given up the idea that I'll have more than 1.5 hrs a day totally to myself without disruption. And, that is not even a given! Dads just dont get it (my kids' either anyways!)

  9. Ohhh. I remember nights feeling almost desperate for a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, and looking enviously at my husband sleeping through it all. :) Don't know if you've tried this, but my mom twisted my arm until I finally tried it one night. Have you tried nursing while laying down in bed? It sounds impossible, but it's actually the EASIEST thing in the world, and gave me my life back with my babies. :) Seriously, whenever baby would cry I would just pull him/her up to my side and nurse and fall back asleep. At some point I would realize they were done and would put them back in their bed, or actually (more often) just stay asleep cuddled up to them until the next hunger pain struck. Then I'd roll over and do it again, but come morning I felt like I'd almost had a full night's sleep. It may not work for everyone, but I honestly don't know how I would have made it through those first months otherwise.

    Here are some good pics to get an idea... The ones with the funny pink sheet bed...


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