Sunday, August 21, 2011

the tattoo

Yesterday I went out to lunch with friends. Food was delicious, conversation was wonderful...and the best part of it was? Aaron was home watching Addison. Because of his extremely busy schedule in the summer, usually if I leave her it has to be with her PCA because I just can't count on him having the time free because of his work demands.

So I was excited. What would he do with the valuable time that he had to give to Addison and our house?

Perhaps he would put trim back up in the nursery? (Last step before I can "move in")

Perhaps he would pick up the oh so many scattered objects throughout the house that Addison had spread and are just too difficult for me to keep up with as my belly continues to expand by the second?

Perhaps he would load the dishwasher or do some laundry?

Perhaps he would wash and set up Addison's new outside Fisher Price play station?

I was excited that my husband finally had a chance to be home...with Addison...and get SOMETHING done. I didn't care so much which item he chose, I was just excited to get one of those things crossed off the list...and to spend time with Addison simultaneously.

I was gone for about three hours....I knew Aaron could get at least one of those things accomplished (and I dropped many not subtle at all hints about each item on that list)

Walking in my front door carrying some baby boy presents from my very sweet friends, I had an anticipatory smile on my face as I was thrilled to see how Daddy time had gone.

Scene: If it could be on the floor it was....toys scattered, clothes and diapers piled, random food items splattering the floor...Daddy was collapsed on the couch looking exhausted and overwhelmed. Addison was happily cruising around the living room.

Hmmm, he looks pretty tired. He must have gotten more than one item on the list done.

"Did you work on the trim?"

"No."

"Did you set up Addison's new play station?"

"No."

Clearly he didn't pick up at all...

"So what did you get done?"

"Well, the tattoo took most of the time."

"Excuse me?"


"Yeah, the tattoo took forever to put on her. Do you realize that she doesn't sit still for very long?"

Really? I had no idea...


I looked down at my sweet daughter's back, and was horrified to see this:
Apparently a tattoo sticker came in one of his landscaping magazines representing a type of mower...

are we playing a humanized version of tic tac toe?

It struck Aaron as the most brilliant use of his Daddy/house time...

and left me reeling with disappointed expectations, an even messier house and an annoying tattoo that I have yet to get off (OK, I just saw online to use cooking oil).

Addison was pretty torn up about it too...
(OK, fine, that last pic might have more to do with Klondike hour being over)

but that is exactly why unsupervised Daddy time is rare at our house...

(and why my push present demands requests have now escalated...)

You know, when the prince comes riding into your life on his white horse...it seems like he should come with some sort of warning label

WARNING: NEEDS SIGNIFICANT TRAINING. HANDLE WITH CARE. MAY CAUSE DEATH BY FRUSTRATION. KEEP OUT OF THE REACH OF CHILDREN UNTIL TRAINING IS COMPLETE.

but to his credit, he has put up rather graciously with ME these past nine months...so I've decided to cut him some slack...but seriously...a tattoo????

15 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha Totally love the WARNING label!! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  2. Please tell me you are joking about this "push present?" And I think the tattoo is sweet! Father/Daughter bonding is more important than any project.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That tattoo is absolutely hilarious!!! And I can relate with you because that's EXACTLY what my husband would do, too! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. baby oil will also remove that tattoo. I know this from experience. Seems that I had a six year old little boy who thought he's be VERY cute with tattoos on his face! lol

    ReplyDelete
  5. Baby shampoo on a washcloth and held to the tattoo works too! Then a minor scrubbing and it's gone. (My 5 year old decided he needed a bday tat on his face about the size of Addison's).

    Dads...what are you going to do with them?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm sure I can't be the first person to suggest this, Deanna, but I think you should take some of your blog entries and put a bunch of them together to write a book about "Everything and Nothing from Essex." You keep all of us in stitches most of the time with all of the excitement going on with your little family. You could fill it up with pictures of Addison and the "man-child" :) and the bat :( and other interesting subjects!

    ReplyDelete
  7. LOL I came home from running errands yesterday and Landon had a pickle tattoo on his arm! I guess it's at least bonding time! :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. You paint a familiar picture! All to familiar! hysterical.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This cracks me up! Even though most of my days with Claire seem to go the same way (not picked up, no projects completed) at least she hasn't come out of it tattooed.

    ReplyDelete
  10. BAHAHAHA Men!
    http://www.theknitwitbyshair.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Playing with daughters is a HIGH priority for Daddies. My friends commented at my recent class reunion that they remembered playing follow the leader on our way home from school when my Dad showed up on the spur of the moment to walk me home. Did the neighbors look out windows to see a tall Swedish man leading a parade of chidren or of following them? Of course. I had a Dad who taught us to work and a Mom who held me to and encouraged a higher standard in my home than I can do today -- yet one of the things my friends have commented most about was that my Dad played with us and they wished theirs had. Cleaning and cooking can wait -- babies and children can't.
    I am now teaching the babies and children I used to help take care of -- they're wonderful individuals and reveal the imprints of their parents in MANY ways. It isn't easy for me to stop what I have planned and invest the time but it is oh, so worth it in the long run. Enjoy these years. Love, Doc

    ReplyDelete
  12. I have four kids so I have been through this a time or two. I know your getting close to the end and you REALLY need things done. Good luck and I hope it all comes together.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I was cracking up laughing while reading this. Such a daddy thing to do!!!!!! Oh my gosh. Hilarious.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for reading about my Everything and Nothing. I would love to hear from you!