Thursday, August 11, 2011

THE BAT

I have a small problem. Really more of a problem pet situation. A pet I did not ask for and DO NOT want.  Remember my whiny post about a fly problem a while back? Multiply that by 100 and by 100 again...and you might be able to fathom the depths of my current problem.

Allow me to explain.

Yesterday was such a beautifully profitable day. I put primer on the walls in little brother's room (I had been waiting for the dry wall to be finished, so I was excited to be able to take this next step). I froze up several meals and bags of homemade chicken broth, made yummy chicken enchiladas for dinner, worked on a newsletter for my husband's customers, successfully semi-picked up the house (and got to visit with several friends throughout the day...lovely)

After getting Addison in bed, I was tired, but I cleaned up my mess from the freezer meals and crashed on the couch with my computer and TV remote. I couldn't feel my legs and was exhausted.

While watching Big Brother out of the corner of my eye (yes, guilty pleasure) and rewriting the newsletter some more, I was startled by what appeared to be part of the fan breaking off and flying towards my head.

What the-

Surely I was imagining this.

I called for Aaron who was working diligently on the other side of the room on his computer (yes, we are one of those couples) to see if I was just hallucinating.

There- it happened again. A black blur flying at a rapid speed past my head, circling my head, getting closer and closer.

I couldn't see what it was because it was moving SO FAST, so I put a couch pillow on my head and started screaming.

Don't judge. When you're attacked so viciously on your couch of comfort after a day of hard work, a little screaming is OK.

When Aaron started freaking out (in his own manly, quiet way, of course), I knew that something weird was up.

I ran into the hall way and started at the black blur doing figure eights between the living room and dining room. After a couple of rounds, I started swatting at it with my pillow.

Aaron told me not to hurt it- it was just a swallow he thought and we needed to just get it to fly out the door.

Next thing we knew. Silence. The flying stopped, but hadn't gone out the door. Where did the swallow go?

It was then looking in the DR, that I saw this:
Yes, that is a bat.

I then super started freaking out. Hysterics- pre-labor screaming...whatever you want to call it. I scream at large spiders and whine about flies. This was a whole new level of grossness to my pest list.

Aaron called his dad to help him capture the bat and set him free outside. I hid out in our large bathroom connected  to our bedroom and shut the doors firmly so that the bat couldn't come in our bedroom sanctuary. (I also moved Addison to the pack 'n play in our room)

I called Animal Control. They informed me that they only take care of dogs. Ummmm, hello? Then why are you called Animal Control?

I then called several Pest Elimination places- leaving messages with some and being told by all that they perhaps could get a technician out tomorrow. Tomorrow? How was I supposed to sleep in a bat infested house?

I heard yelling and bodies dropping to the floor as the "capture" was apparently unsuccessful. Ugh. I called more pest places. No one could help us.

 I contemplated calling 911.

Next thing I knew, all was silent in the living room, so I went out asking if the bat had been caught.

I was told rather sheepishly by my husband that not only had it not been caught, but it was now hiding in the living room somewhere, and HE HAD NO IDEA WHERE. Apparently these little boogers can make themselves super tiny and hide out in the oddest of places....never to be found until they wake up and start their demon flight once again.

I started freaking out. I had read online the risk of rabies if you are bitten by a bat, and I immediately went back into our haven of a bedroom, placing towels over the crack under the door, and googled "rabies symptoms"

Fever. Yes, I was starting to feel a bit hot.
Scratchy throat. As I read the words, my throat started to tighten and close.
Headache. Immediately my head started to pound.
Tiredness. Of course.

I had rabies. A bat hidden in my beautiful living room. and rabies.

I read that rabies shots normally cost $3500 and all of my symptoms immediately intensified.

I was going to die. and of course the bat probably somehow bit Addison. She was probably going to die too. And could an unborn child survive rabies? My googling was on fire as I sought answers. Google gives you the answer to every life problem imaginable. Crying hysterically, I wanted to go to bed, but felt creepy crawly things all over my tender skin. Was that a symptom of rabies as well????

I finally fell into a troubled sleep and dreamed that Aaron came to bed late telling me that the bat had bit him in the face.

Waking up this morning, no movement from our pet bat. All of the lights were on in the living room as well as the TV (regrettably, BB was over and I never got to see the ending)

I fed Addison VERY quickly and we left for our first appointment of the day, jumping at shadows and every fly. (thankfully, we had 3 doctor appointments today)

Between every appointment, I was on the phone to different pest control places- the only times they could come look at the house were the times that we would be gone for the appointments that had been scheduled for 6 months. UGH.

One lady told me that a bat once hid in a vase at her house. A vase! Oh my goodness, that bat could really be anywhere!

Really hoping that the bat wakes up tonight, and flies out the open front door.

Please, please, please. please.

I swear any more of this tension and jumping at every shadow, I will go into labor. And I can't go into labor yet.  Baby brother's room only has primer on the walls.

Stupid bat.

Stupid rabies.

Stupid comfy couch that I'm too scared to lounge in now.

I need bat removal advice. It's getting dark fast.

We need to safely remove Quincy (what, I'm not allowed to name the pet bat?)...and no, that's not the baby's name...

I CANNOT coexist with a bat....and pretty sure the bat can't afford the mortgage, so we need to come to an understanding...and soon.





20 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, I have never seen a bat and I don't want to...EVER! Where did you get her glasses, I saw the link for solobambini, but did you have to go to a store to have her measured and all of that, if so where? Emily has an eye that crosses so we will be getting glasses and I tried the Erin's World frames for kids with DS and they ARE NOT CUTE on her at all!

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  2. I have heard that if you knock it out of the air with a broom it can't get back up again, leaving you (or your very brave hubby!) to scoop it up in a blanket and let it go! This is how my grandpa always got bats out of their house.
    BUT then you have to figure out where it got in and try to prevent it from happening again.
    Good luck!
    xoxoxo, Heidi

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  3. 1) I'm pretty sure my mom grew up with a bat in her basement. I seem to remember seeing bats when I would go to Grandma's house in Norwood, Ohio.

    2) We are also one of THOSE couples, and the nightly computer scene is also playing out at our house

    3) I'm hoping to pitch a client in Boston later this year and come visit :)

    And most importantly 4) This completely cracked me up and I was getting those same symptoms just reading the post. Please tell Aaron to have a heart to heart with Quincy and advise him that the neighbors have a much better house and that he should go check it out :)

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  4. The bat that came to spend quality time in our home found refuge in our fake bonsai tree in our living room as evidenced by the remarkable amount of bat poop on our mantle...under the tree. It also hid out in our baseboard heater. We only found it because Dave stuck a ruler in the heater, and it squeaked. We called the local "bat man" in the middle of the night. He told us to always keep our eyes on the bat - a little late when I was in my raincoat with my dog in our very tiny half bath! Thankfully we found it (in the heater), and Dave valiantly trapped it in a trash can and released it back into the wild. Something I hope never to repeat!

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  5. Oh my goodness, creepy! Bats don't really bother me but I think one in my house would for sure! I hope you get it taken care of soon!
    I had to laugh at the rabies symptoms. I would totally be doing the same thing! We are also one of THOSE couples, both on our computers on each side of the living room :-)

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  6. ok, this is just creepy. I hope you get rid of your house guest very soon!

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  7. When we were first married, we lived in a old Victorian in IL that we were remodeling. I remember John being on business and I was asleep. Our dog was at the foot of my bed and she woke me up whining. I kicked her from under the covers a few times...TARA! HUSH! TARA! STOP WHINING! Then, I finally sat up, opened by eyes and there by the dim light of the hallway night light I saw the bat flying back and forth through my room. I SCREAMED! GRABBED MY DOG! RAN, SLAMMED THE DOOR AND RAN AGAIN! I didn't know what to do about a bat. SO, I did what any woman who's husband was out of town would do: I called my neighbor screaming. 3am. He walks over with a TENNIS raquet and an empty cheerio box. 15 mins later, some crashing and banging and I think even a few choice words, he comes down the stairs with his tennis racquet and a bat in a cheerio box. He let it go outside. After that, I had John scaling that house with that foam insulation, looking for every single nook and cranny that a bat could possibly hide in.
    I have to say, to date, it is still one of the creepiest moments in my homeowner history. I hope you find Quincy soon and release him FAR FAR FAR away.

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  8. you mean he's still in your house?
    Now I'm def not coming to Vermont...
    and once we had an owl fly in our place, but it was caught and set out...
    and we have five computers...yes, five

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  9. OMG, I would totally freak out just like you! I actually had to google 'bat in house', just because I was curious...crazy what you can find online...getbatsout.com I hope you get him out soon!

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  10. You are soooo funny! I would be freaked out too, gross! But I just love the way you express it! :)

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  11. I read this out loud to Ryan. Sorry, but we laughed. Very good writing! :) Hope he's caught soon!

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  12. OMG..yuck! I don't blame you for freaking out. I HATE bats! We discovered one living under our patio umbrella, which pooped all over our patio table in turn. My husband "got rid" of it (read that as sprayed it with a hose), and the next day it was back... with a friend (bat backup?). Hope you get rid of your bat soon.

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  13. You need a cat. One night, while watching a horror movie in my mom's house while she was away on vacation, the cat trotted into the room with a bat in her mouth!! After some initial freaking out, I quickly scooped it up in a shoebox and put it outside, thinking it might be dead, but it was gone in the morning. Cat had to be quarantined for a while (in-home, but she was an indoor cat anyway) and she was fine. Keep in mind, the poor little guy is probably pretty scared to be where he is. Hope you can catch him soon! Ugh, I hate not knowing where stuff like that is, though...

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  14. My Mom grew up in a house that attracted bats for some reason. She is still to this day terrified if she even sees them flying outside. They used to get them with brooms and shooing them out the front doors. I'd get gigantic brooms or have your husband call all his guy friends and make a game out of trying to find it while staying at someone elses house.

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  15. I laughed so hard reading this! Almost a year ago to the day, something similar happened to me. My husband was out of town on business and I was sleeping soundly with my then 6 month old son sleeping in his room. I woke up to the sound of fluttering and, in the dim light from our video baby monitor, I saw a bat flying in circles just a few feet over my head! I screamed my head off! I managed to get it to fly out into the hallway and I shut the door only to have it squeeze itself under the door back into my bedroom! I left the room, slammed the door shut, piled towels to cover the crack under the door and called my brother in law for help...at 1am on a week day.

    My heart is pounding right now just rehashing the night!

    Luckily my baby slept through my very loud screams so at least one of us got a good nights sleep.

    Oh...and the only thing you missed on BB is the return of Brendon :(

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  16. LOL...Laughed all the way through this!! I HATE bats too!! And we have about a million out here. I am going to video tape what just outside our house at dusk looks like here on the Ranch...HUNDREDS! Thank God we only had one incident with one in the house though...So gross...Even Brad was scared, we had to get out 13 year old to capture it! lol

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  17. I'm so sorry about your bat (and subsequent rabies), but it made for some great entertainment for me. :)

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  18. I had bats in my classroom when I taught in Central African Republic -- house, too. I didn't know that bats would squeak until I accused the 7th grade boys of it. When I used a broom to go after a bothersome one, it squeaked. Oh, oh! When I spoke to the boys, they said: "That's all right. You're a new missionary and don't know things like that!" They do eat LOTS of mosquitoes -- I was always happy to sleep under a mosquito net both to avoid th mosquitoes and bat contact. A bit harrowing to awaken with one hanging on the net, however. At that moment, I didn't really care if the house boy saw me in my pajamas . . . and somehow came up with the word "HELP" in Sango. But at school I had to be the brave one.
    I have bats in the backyard here and we did in MN, too -- at least occasionally.
    Love, Doc

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  19. Oh my goodness, Deanna! I can EXACTLY relate to your bat dilemma. We had the same thing occur at 4am this morning and the bat has yet to be found. We are only hoping we find it. This is not fun!!! I was the one who discovered it flying around after waking up for a early morning potty break (ughh.. glad when these are over). I hit the deck - big preggo belly and all - trying to evade its swoops - all the while screaming bloody murder to my husband who startled half-asleep out of bed thinking I encountered another hairy spider. Kyler says he's going to sleep over somewhere else tonight. Our cat refuses to be alone in the basement. That nasty critter is somewhere, but we've looked EVERYWHERE and cannot find it.

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