Friday, June 17, 2011

Wife, Mother, LEPER

Confession: I am a pregnancy leper.

Allow me to explain.

A week or so ago, I developed a very common pregnancy infection and my doctor put me on an antibiotic.

Just before finishing the antibiotic, I, of course, was struck down with yet another common pregnancy infection that can come on the heels of the previous one.

Sigh. I've been struggling with a ton of Braxton Hicks contractions, extra fatigue, extreme discomfort, etc. And to add insult to injury, I had to take medication twice a day. I HATE to take all kinds of medication. Since I've never been able to swallow pills (yes, I have tried every trick in the book), I always have to take the nasty liquid version of whatever cute little pill everyone else is able to pop and swallow within seconds.

So, I've been having a bit of a pity party for my whiny pregnant self and apparent affinity to disease.

And then, yesterday, I mentioned waking up with a bit of a rash. I had a lot else on my mind with it being my last day of work, so I merely put a call in to my doctor- took the prescribed Benadryl (the liquid children's grape, so gross.) and carried on my merry way. 

This morning I woke up and the rash had intensified and hideously spread. It was as if the rash devil visited me in the night and gave me a liberal sprinkling of cursed rash dust....causing my pale little skin to inflame all over with red dots (heinous, really).

I had to set aside my previously decided bare midriff maternity outfit for today (just kidding...but really...why is that a thing???)

If Cruella de Vil caught a glimpse of my creamy white skin covered in lusciously glorious red spots, no doubt she would want to make a coat out of my skin.

It's just that beautiful.

A trip into the doctor's determined that yes indeed, I was allergic to the medication that I suffered through last week to get rid of my infection.

She thinks that the rash should clear up in 7 days. 7 DAYS! I have a lot of living to do between now and then...none of it which includes this new spotty look and extra fatigue and extra sensitive eyes. (I've had to wear my glasses, which Addison has deemed her new life mission to destroy)

So just to sum up, the first infection led to the second infection which led to me becoming a spotted mountain lion- but without the sleek sexy exterior and add on a bulky belly bump...(but keep the same sort of snarly attitude of one who hasn't been fed in a while.)

I expect limbs to soon start falling off. An arm? Leg? Who knows what is next. It just seems that if something bad can possibly happen, it usually does to me. (that includes innocently walking down a street in New York City and having pigeon poo randomly fall from the sky into my hair)

My friend Patti (checkout her amazing giveaway) has ten children. TEN. How do people endure 10 pregnancies? I am on my second one, and am about ready to call UNCLE to the pregnancy gods which have sent to curse me with ailment after ailment, causing even my beautiful (free) Victoria Secret black tank top with my sale found gap jeans to not allow me to feel like the cute delicate pregnant person that I always dreamed that I should be. I had to switch to my favorite comfort pajamas upon immediate arrival home (which ironically enough, are covered in spots. I might have to rethink my favorites list)

While typing this, I am aware that I am the wimpiest person in the world with a small side of overly dramatic, but you have to remember...

I am a leper, and I don't know how much longer I'll have all of my fingers, so I might as well type it all out while I can.

Random Side Note: Keeping some chocolate in the diaper bag is a great idea for a pick me up while out on errands.
Random Side Note 2: Keeping some chocolate in the diaper bag is a horrible idea when your daughter decides to dissimulate said bag in the doctor's appointment, liberally helping herself to the chocolate and aluminium wrapper while you're distractedly complaining about your rash and the doctor watches with judgement (and makes note for a need for a visit from a social worker)

In conclusion: A pic courtesy of Addison's PCA from yesterday:
hope the Leprosy Colony has wi-fi.....otherwise this may be a goodbye

Don't forget about my giveaway that ends on Monday!


  1. what, no pictures of you?
    come on! that's what the people want to see, and when I say people, I mean me

  2. haha...Holly. I promise that even you would not want to see this...(unless you were just wanting a good laugh...)

  3. Bahahaha! I mean...Poor Deanna! I'm so sorry! (It's just that your blog is hilarious! I love the snarly-spotted-mountain lion mental image.) I hope you feel better soon! I'm so tempted to make a comment about your "spot on" observations, or "rash comments" but I wont ;)

  4. Awwwww!!! So sorry! You poor thing. :-( I'm allergic to pennicillin, my daughter is allergic to it, and just recently my mom discovered she's allergic to it, too. Not pretty. At all. My mom discovered it in her first few days of a 3-week vacation in Europe, and was worried about the leper thing, too. Hope all your limbs stay intact!

  5. Love that pic of Addison!

    All of my pregnancy woes were two weeks after Jesenia was born so I can't relate with the rashes and such. Hope you feel better soon!

  6. Ugh- pretty sure I had that same infection- I actually had to go in at 2am on my due date because of the pain. However, I was given antibiotics and sent home...until my water broke two days later!

  7. in fact I have been pg THIRTEEN times :) and you're making me want to go for 14 with all this pregnancy ailment talk...because then at least I have a good excuse to eat chocolate all day long. It is the cure for everything! Addison was on to something!

  8. Believe it or not I am not good at the whole pregnancy thing! I cant believe I made it through FIVE!!! Hang in there, I know the last couple months are killer...But Sept 7th will be here before you know it :)
    Haha, love that picture of Chubbs!!! She has the BEST expressions!

  9. I had eczema as a kid (and still get it occasionally). My Dr. says you can look at me and I'll break out and that I have the most sensitive skin of any adult she has worked with. In third grade due to my very visible eczema, the kids decided I had leprosy which meant I ate lunch by myself and played with only myself at recess. I tried to figure out what was next. Since lepers were outside villages in Bible times, as a little literal Biblical interpreter, I assumed that would be my outcome. The only building in my town that had a wall was the Franciscan Convent. I envisioned that I would be begging outside the wall from the nuns. I asked my parents when they were going to take me there. Of course, they were clueless about why I thought I needed to be there and then the story came out. My class also found out that eczema was not contagious and I was no longer in the pariah caste.
    Last night I cut branches in the back yard. There must be invisible poision ivy because within minutes I was trying not to scratch. After a shower and cortaid on it, I ended up taking the cortisone (small dose) that the Dr. had given me for this purpose because it was already spreading. It's better this morning so we don't quite match in skin appearance, but I can sympathize. Hope the Dr's wrong about the duration of recovery and that the Great Physician will speed things up!

  10. Hilarious! LOL! Bless your heart. I think you hate pregnancy as much as I do and I've done it SEVEN times. Ugh. But then you get a baby (that doesn't sleep. Double ugh.), and THEN you get a child (YAY!) so it's totally worth it! Hang in there! :)

  11. I can't swallow pills either. Never have been able to. Hubby laughs at me because the only way I can get them down is to shove them down my throat. Not pretty, but it gets the job done.

  12. Pregnant leper? No photos of you?!

    A pregnant leper MUST be in playboy magazine because that sounds really exciting.

    I'd love it if some playboy models developed leprosy. Hugh Hefner should throw them out on the street if they sought treatment!


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