Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Angel turned Demon/Stubborn Chubbs

What do you get when two extremely stubborn people have a daughter with genetically inclined stubborn tendencies?

1. A child who eats a new food eagerly like a starving child, waits until Mommy goes to the store and buys it in bulk, and then absolutely refuses to let it cross her little lips...and if the mouth is forcefully propped open and the food placed inside one cheek, she works tongue until she finds it..and then deliberately spits it out with an arc high enough to hit Mommy (over and over again until the food eventually just dissolves)

2. A child whose sole mission in life once placed in the grocery cart is to turn backwards and nosedive into the back of the matter how many times Mommy says no and rights her position. (When Mommy buckles her in, said stubborn child raises the belt until even with neck and then pretends that she is choking)

3. A child who will stand independently NOT when asked to...only when it allows both of her hands to be free to attempt to pull down the blinds in her bedroom via her crib.

4. A child who absolutely refuses to wave or do ANY signs whatsoever even though it's clear (some days) that she understands them.

5. A child who cruises around her crib for several hours after put to bed, not because she isn't tired, but just because she can...and is bent on exercising every freedom possible.

6.  A child who will cry for a bottle until one is brought to her, take a couple of energizing sips and then throw it as far as she can, apparently keeping score with how many she can get to roll to the back wall under the couch.

7. A child who will pull to stand on ANYTHING as long as there is something that she isn't supposed to have up there (and yes, it is possible to eat an entire three musketeers bar through the wrapper)

8. A child who makes this face when presented with something with any sort of  challenge. (current challenge: crawl over the stack of blankets that Daddy piled up...and yes, she did...very quickly)

9. A child who deems it a competitive game to crawl over the edges of things (such as the couch, or Mommy and Daddy's bed) faster than anyone can grab onto her to stop her...all the while issuing an evil chortle with the smell of victory very near to her nose (if you're wondering what that smell of victory is, it's the carpet so badly in need of vacuuming in Mommy and Daddy's room)

10. A child who absolutely refuses to show cognitive understanding to the word No. Apparently, to her, the word No really means "try again...and this time faster and while Mommy isn't looking because clearly this activity was meant for you"

For those of you who have stubborn/mischievous children, this post probably is like a Wednesday night at your house...but my sweet little baby overnight changed into this curious, slightly evil, stubborn stubborn stubborn child and I'm struggling with the change.

Better laugh than cry...but still it's a hard adjustment from loving baby to the poking eyes, pulling hair, scratching, yelling, fit throwing demon currently held hostage in my child's body.

It's just so hard because she doesn't seem to understand NO. How do I know if she's really understanding but stubbornly ignoring...or if she HONESTLY doesn't understand it yet?

How do you deal with behavioral problems in a child with cognitive limitations? How do you know what she doesn't understand and what she is ignoring? I would hate to enforce a command that she obviously didn't understand. But I also don't want her to keep pulling them over on me and grow up to be an absolute brat who never listens to anything that she is told. How do you tell the difference between understanding and honest confusion in a child with special needs?

If you have any suggestions along those lines. HELP.

Otherwise I just see this phase stretching innocently into a "How can I kill my little brother" phase.


  1. Welcome to toddler hood! She's learning how to push your buttons and find out what she can and can't get away with...and it only gets worse as they get older! I'd say Miss Addison knows exactly what's she's doing...she's one smart girl! :)

  2. The phases seem to take forever while you are in them but they disappear quickly. Then it's another phase, but the tantrum thing never goes away. My eight year old still throws them! I believe Addison is one smart kid who knows how to get mommy and daddy, like the comment before, she is seeing what she can get away with. I used to pick up my children when they would climb in the carts and place them in the seat over and over without saying a word (I would tell them no the first time). They finally got it. My kids also know that when they hear me reciting the serenity prayer out loud it's time to chill out and stop whatever they are doing.
    Thank you for bringing me back to toddler hood, I wish I was back there now that I have an eleven and eight year old. Cherish every moment because it goes by so quickly. :-)

  3. Your baby is officially a toddler! :) It really is amazing how much they understand, but yet pretend not to......
    There may be a try to kill the little brother phase,(been there, done that! "baby go new home mommy..please!!") but that will pass as well, and then they will be little conspiring against you really never ends, but its a great ride if you have the stamina and sense of humor!!

  4. it's so funny-because Eric and I have always said that we weren't going to treat Brooke any different than our other kids...but we're having a hard time following through. We tell her no all the time-no pulling hair, no stratching your brothers eyes out, no throwing food...and she laughs in our faces.
    and I know she understands...but I can't bring myself to discipline her, which is not smart on my end, DS or no DS she needs to learn boundaries...
    and the food thing-she does that too...

  5. I'd have to say (as a mom of four, one who is also sporting an extra chromosome), my money is on the "she's a full fledged toddler who is figuring out the world, and what bugs her parents the most". She will perfect those things in no time too! Hang in there Deanna, she'll grow out of it... eventually... ;)

  6. Yup. A full-fledged toddler is who you have! Since she is your first baby you weren't prepared! It will all work out. I promise!

  7. I had a hard time with this at first too...wondering if Russell really understood the word NO...But then I thought it doesnt matter, he needs to learn it, he needs to be told it at certain times and eventually he will know what it means. Now when Russell starts heading towards something he knows he is not suppose to, he will start shaking his head NO because he knows thats what he is going to hear...and he understands...they understand more than we think they do and more quickly I think than we give them credit for. Your #10 cracked me up!

  8. Deanna, I stumbled upon your blog through a link at I can not even begin to express how much of a blessing reading your story has truly been to me. Thank you for being so open and honest, for allowing the Lord to use you in such a mighty way. May God continue to bless you and your beautiful family.

  9. ha! That is so funny!
    She is such a smartie! I love stubborn kiddos. I must admit. Emma is stubborn and I hope that Eslea will be too. People spent so much time telling me in the beginning how docile she will be because of her DS...whatever!
    Love the picture. :)-erin

  10. I'm not ever coming back here until you take down that disgustingly svelte pregnant body that mocks every other pregnant person on the planet. I'm GLAD we live states apart, because I wouldn't even be your friend if we were pregnant at the same time! Rude !!!!

  11. Bad new - my 5 year old still pretends she doesn't hear or understand the word "no" - even though during her kindergarten readiness testing she tested above the average receptive language skill of her typical classroom peer. Good new - in general all toddler behaviors, typical & special needs are cyclical. So the hitting, scrathing one will roll back to the sweet one eventually, my daughter was like a 6 month mood changer. And as one of her therapist told me - its a lot easier to teach a child with a strong will then a child who doesn't care. Its all a matter of finding the right motivation. You'll figure it out! I truly most kids with DS get away with what we allow them too.

  12. Okay, I may have laughed through this whole thing...some of the those things sound like my little "angel" baby at the moment. You literally are taking words right from my daily thoughts. Know you aren't struggling alone! :)

  13. When I was in my 30's, my Mom did a book review on THE STRONG WILLED CHILD by James Dobson for the ladies' mission group. She remarked that she wished the book had been written thirty-five years earlier because it would have helped her with one of her daughters. Every one laughed. They knew which daughter she was talking about! That strong will can be turned into determination to do something when she most needs it. And she will understand the meaning of "NO" in due time. Just keep up the good work. I am thankful for a dear Mom who never gave up on me. The Lord left her on earth until she was 103 3/4 probably partly because I still needed her wisdom.

  14. right there with you...

    subborn parents + extra chromosome = super stubborn kiddo.


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