This shot is for Russell.....great idea hanging out in the laundry basket...(-:I have an extreme weakness for fairy tales. Damsel in distress, prince comes to rescue her, they have an amazingly sappy kiss, get married, and everyone lives happily ever after in the prince's giant castle.
Almost every book you read has some sort of unresolved conflict, suspense, big blow up, resolution, and then everyone lives happily ever after. (I realize that I am seriously over generalizing here, but kindly go with me)
When you are faced with the fact that you are having a baby that is going to be different, the suspense and unresolved conflict within yourself is immense. You fight inwardly as to how you are going to handle this- how your life is going to change.
You remember all of those stories that you used to love so well, and for the first time in your life, you realize that your story doesn't hold the promise of a magical ending. There's nothing magical about looking down the road 5 years, 10 years, 50 years and realizing that nothing about this problem is going to change. It's going to be staring you in the face every day and weighing heavily on you for support every step of the way.
This concept is devastating. This problem is something that is never going to go away, never get better, never find a "cure".
What then? What is your happily ever after?
I have spent a lot of time thinking and pondering this lately. I have gotten to a point of acceptance with my daughter's diagnosis. Even though there are hard days still, a lot of the pain and grief over the initial diagnosis has faded.
But what if someone were to write a Cinderella 6 where Cinderella had a baby that was going to be different? After the unresolved conflict and and the big emotional battle......
.....what would they write as the "happily ever after?"
I may not be making any sense at all, but I am honestly struggling through this.
If I were to describe it, based on where I am now in our journey, I guess my answer is that my happily ever after is today. and tomorrow. and the next day. one day at a time.
My happily ever after includes unconditional love for my baby. My day to day work taking care of her brings me such joy and happiness as I marvel that she is still alive and that she is so beautiful.
My happily ever after includes holding my warm and cuddly baby who places her chubby arms around me and smiles mischievously at me after trying to take off my nose with her curious little fingers.
My happily ever after includes tickling Chubbs under her chin and listen to her belly laugh and watch her valiantly try to kick herself away.
My happily ever after includes day after day of doing what I need to do taking care of a somewhat fragile 10 month old and loving every minute of it.
But then again, I am only 10 months in. I don't feel qualified to define "happily ever after" for even myself because I have only really just begun this.
When I look back in 50 years, will I have a different opinion of happily ever after?
What do you think? To my friends who are in similar situations:
What is the happily ever after of having a baby with special needs?
What is your happily ever after?