Sunday, August 1, 2010

The "Fun" Parent

What a great day...with no pictures to show for it. I even forgot my phone most of the day so I couldn't take slightly blurry shots. (-: Here's what happened today:

-Addison went to church nursery for the first time (now that the Mic-Key is gone, I feel more comfortable leaving her there)
- Fabulous Lunch at Grandpa and Grandmas
- Addison went down this huge blow up water slide at Grandpa and Grandma's (have to get a pic of this later this week....so cute)
-Addison ate avocado and sweet potato like a champ
-Family gathering at Nano and Poppy's house after church tonight.
-Hanging out with cousins
-Addison eating watermelon (and pretty sure Aaron snuck her a taste of dill pickle...what?)

Yeah, a full and great day with NO pictures. That is what I was like before I had Chubbs, but I have been trying hard to take lots of pictures since she has graced our lives. Today I failed at that. )-:

Something else that I was pondering today: maybe this is a new parent thing, but is it normal to have a "fun" parent and a "work" parent? The reason I ask is because day in, day out I take Addison to appointment after appointment, I work on her physical therapy, we spend a lot of time working on eating solid foods, and sometimes I think I honestly forget to stop and just have fun with her because we are always moving from one activity to the next. Aaron, on the other hand, swoops home from work, picks her up, does "flying McPhee", "sky diver McPhee", spends time with her, but usually with all of the "fun stuff" (such as sneaking her dill pickle or taking her swimming in her silk dress when I'm not watching) I don't begrudge the fact that I do all of the extra stuff for Addison. I love, love, love doing it. But the thing that bugs me is- she smiles more for Aaron than she does for me. Her smiles can be somewhat hard to coax out, but they are beautiful and they take your breath away when they appear.....I just wish she would associate me with more "fun" activities, but I spend my days making sure she lives to see another one. I don't always have a lot of energy left over to dedicate to the "fun."
Anyone else have this problem? How do you balance the "fun" and "work" parent titles when you have one parent who works much more outside the house than the other one and doesn't have time to participate with all of the "work" thereby allowing Addison to associate titles to us and thereby choose where she wants to bestow her smiles. )-: Just curious. Maybe it is just something that we learn with time. After all, it has only been six short months since we have become parents. We have soooo much to learn it is frightening at times!

4 comments:

  1. I have become more of a "fun" parent this summer. I've learned to let her dirty her outfits with dirt, sand, and food. I've learned to say yes (or just do more fun stuff, since she really doesn't ask for a lot yet). Instead of doing the cleaning, shopping, etc that I need to do, I'm trying to just enjoy being with her. Even if that means that her schedule is slightly messed up for a little while. You can be a fun parent! :)
    As for her smiling more for Aaron...it's that daddy/daughter thing. I've resigned myself to that fact. :)

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  2. I have been a parent for 9 years now (I have 4 children and babysit 1 child for a friend) and yes I find it very difficult to just stop all the work and find time to enjoy my kids. In some ways, taking care of them is the way that I show them my love and care. They don't appreciate it at Addison's age but they do appreciate it more the older they get.

    One of the hardest things I had to learn when I had my first child was to just let some things go. I am a neat freak and an organizational freak and letting things go and not be perfect was really hard until a very wise woman in my church nursery shared a truth that had been shared with her early into her mothering days. She said "When your children are grown and gone nobody will remember what your house looked like on any given day, but they will be able to look at your child's life and see how you spent your days." I have let some things go a little longer than I would have chosen too and instead I spend a little extra time working on my childrens' character.

    This summer I decided to set aside 1 day a week to devote time to the kids. Whether we go to the library or spend the day in the kitchen baking, they enjoy the extra time and attention.

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  3. This is totaly the case in my house! Brad is the "fun" parent...always has been, and my kids ALL smile their biggest smiles for him. I am the "non" fun parent, ha ha...I am the worrier, the obsesser, the researcher, the appointmet maker, you know, all that good stuff us Moms get to do. At first I know it bothered me that Brad got to be that fun parent...but now I just accept it. I have realized that a good balance between the two is perfect for kids...especialy since having Russell, I feel he needs that balance. I am here to worry over him, work with him, know everything there is about Ds, make the appointments...while Brad is here for Russell to just kick back with, relax with, have fun with. And between the two of us he gets the best of everything :)

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  4. I know what you mean....my sister has three boys and never had time to be the fun parent when they were little. They liked me as their aunt because, as one said, I listened to what they had to say and I laughed at their jokes. But now that they're older - 16, 18, 20 - they respect and love her greatly and she has more time to play with them, even though she's a single mom with a full-time teaching job. They adore her, and enjoy making HER laugh!

    Both of you have special traits, characteristics, habits, mannerisms that Chubbs will get to know and enjoy. She'll know more about you than YOU know about you! And you're such a loving person that she can't help but feel that and respond to you.

    There are easy and spontaneous laughs and smiles, and deep meaningful ones too. You and your husband have both kinds, and Chubbs will enjoy them all with you both. Right now, she needs you to do what you're doing for her. You are such a beautiful person in every way, and she is soaking that up. That's not a thing to laugh at!

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