Thursday, August 5, 2010
My Dearest Chubbs,
Today is your six month birthday. Before I became a parent, I would have scoffed at such a milestone, deeming it unimportant, but now I know better. That is just one of the ways that you have changed me since coming into my life.
A year ago this month, I was newly pregnant, sick as a dog and dreaming of my perfect baby. My baby, I was sure, would be the cutest, the brightest, the most intelligent (notice any arrogance here?) I was going to have the perfect baby, therefore making all of the sickness and trial of pregnancy worth it. My competitive streak was on track to have the very best baby in the world.
I'm sure you're laughing as you read this letter, sweet Chubbs. Because last year this time, I had no idea how my life was going to dramatically change in this short year...for the better. Because, I did have the perfect baby. I had you. When I was pregnant, I never dreamed that perfection included a 5 week NICU stay, a Mic-Key button, heart surgery, and dealing with 24 hours of oxygen at home. I never dreamed that I would accept the label "perfect" along with the diagnosis of Down Syndrome. You, sweet Chubbs, have taught me that perfection does not lie in accomplishments or being the best or the brightest. Perfection lies in being exactly the baby that God perfectly designed for me. And that baby, dear Chubbs, is you. Now don't get me wrong, I do think that you are the best and the brightest. But that is not why I love you. No, I love you because you were made to be my baby. I wouldn't change a thing about you....not a thing.
In these past six months, you have worked so hard at living. You have improved so much. You have gone from this:
in 6 short months. You amaze me. I'm not sure when you are going to come off of oxygen for good, or grow big enough to actually be on the percentile chart for your age, or achieve all of the big milestones ahead of you. But, I'm here to tell you, Chubbs: I don't care. When you smile at me, my heart melts. When you laugh at me, inevitably I get tears in my eyes. As long as you keep doing those things, I will be patient with all of the other stuff. (You might have to remind me about this from time to time, because it seems like I keep having to learn the same lessons over and over again.)
Anyway, Chubbs, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for coming into our lives, for making our marriage stronger, for opening our eyes to what is really important, for showing us that a label does not guarentee a certain outcome. You are not a "they" or a "them". You are Chubbs. Our Chubbs. We love you so much, and we look forward to celebrating many more "birth" celebrations with you! YAY for 6 months! Let's celebrate with some more beets! No? But they're so good for you.....
p.s. what was your real name again????