Saturday, July 24, 2010

Chubbs' Guardian Angel Works Weekends

This blog post is a little bit hard to write. Sometimes you can do everything possible to be a good mom, but then something happens outside of your control and the guilt and the feelings of being the worst mom ever are pretty much overwhelming.
So this was my day: (I realize that it is only 4:00, but I am pretty much ready to just go to bed right now and hope that tomorrow is better.)

I have been working on making a valance for my big picture window in the LR as well as sew together the four panels of curtains into two so that they hung more naturally. My mother-in-law has been coaching me through this project, and yesterday we got a lot done! This morning, I was going to resew the panels together (not too terrible tricky since it is just one straight stitch) because yesterday I sewed them top to bottom instead of bottom to top, so my sewing coach didn't think that they would hang just right. The only problem is, this morning, I couldn't get my sewing machine to cooperate. I spent several hours this morning trying to coax it to work for me. No go. So I finally decided that I would just go ahead and start ripping out the seams and maybe borrow a sewing machine to make those final stitches.

The curtains were on one side of the room (on the red chairs), my couch and scissors to cut out the stitches were on the other side of the room. Addison was playing on her mat in between- her normal play spot. I lifted the curtains to carry them and somehow must have lifted too high (there is a lot of material there) I still don't really know how it happened. All I know is that my hand brushed against the glass globe on the light fixture and a nano second later, I heard it falling.

I am not being overly dramatic here. Addison was lying directly under the glass globe. This glass was extremely thick and heavy.
I immediately panicked. I threw the curtains down and ran over to Chubbs. She was screaming (they told me later that this is a good sign). There was broken glass all around her. See where the bottle is? That is where her head was lying.
I picked her up and didn't know what to do. I went to set her down on the couch to see if she was hurt, when I noticed a blood spot on the couch coming from the back of her head. I grabbed my phone and tried to call her Pediatrician, but got a busy signal. I put Addison directly in her car seat, grabbed her diaper bag and a new bottle and we got in the car and went straight to her pediatrician's office (it is 1 minute away). By this point I was crying and shaking. The receptionist asked if we had an appointment. I tried to tell her the story, but when I got to the point of the glass falling down and I didn't know whether it hit her or not I started crying again. She had us wait a few minutes and then they brought us back. I tried to get Aaron on the phone, but couldn't reach him. I took a picture of her head and texted it to him. I didn't even know what to type. There were two cuts and one rather large bruise:

The doctor on call we had never seen before. She said that since she wasn't familiar with Addison's case, she wasn't sure what her head normally looked like. She asked me if her head was normally asymmetrial. I had no idea what to answer. Addison always looks perfect to me. I did see the bump on the side of her head, but I didn't know if it looked a different shape than normal. The doctor said that we should head to the emergency room to make sure that Addison's skull wasn't cracked. Since I didn't see it fall, I still didn't know at this point if it had hit her head or if she just had a few shards fly her direction.

We headed to the emergency room, this time getting Aaron on the phone and he met us there. We all waited 1.5 hrs at the emergency room to have the doctor diagnose her as "Scalp lacerations". He said that there was absolutely no swelling, so he said there was no way that her skull could be cracked. Normally I would get very impatient to have to wait so long, but I was thankful that a little bit of time went by so that if she was going to react, she would do it while we were there. We determined that there was no way the globe had hit her. It had just fallen right beside her. She was acting absolutely normal- hungrily ate two bottles while we waited and had two very messy diapers. When we first got there, I noticed that she had a very, very wet diaper. Aaron and I were laughing (by this point) that we really didn't blame her for all of the wet since she was probably sooo scared by the glass falling right beside her. Poor baby!

They finally sent a nurse in to dab at the two bloody spots on her head (which by now had clotted over) with a wash cloth and apply some form of neosporin and said we were free to go.

Here we are waiting. Bottle #1

Bottle #2: She actually prefers to feed herself and has become quite good at holding her own bottle.Thank you, Mom and Dad Smith for cleaning up all of the glass for us while we were still at the ER...

So, I am still shaking a bit and start crying all over again when I think how close that glass fixture fell to my baby's head. Were we lucky that she came out the other side with merely two cuts to her head from some glass flying her way, one small bruise and one extremely wet diaper? No, lucky had nothing to do with this. God protected my baby today- just as He has time and time again. Addison is a miracle baby. It is amazing, I was just getting to the point were I had forgotten so soon what He had already done for us. I was starting to panic about the future. Today God reminded me that He is in control and holds Addison's life in His hands.

Also- still feeling like a super bad mommy. I can't think of what I should have done to avoid this from happening. It is a good thing Addison has a very alert "Guardian Angel" since perhaps she has to put up with me. I am just so thankful that she is OK. Aaron said that if the glass globe had hit her head directly, there is no physical way she could have survived it. I think that thought is what will keep me up tonight.
Like peanut butter on the fingers of a curious toddler, this post is begging to be shared.

11 comments:

Kelly said...

I am bawling my eyes out! Deanna, I cannot imagine the fright you have been through today! Praise God for protecting Addison. I'll be praying for you. You are definitely NOT a bad mommy- accidents happen even to mommies!

Sharon said...

Wow, Deanna~ your story brings me immediately back about 22 years ago when I dropped an 18oz glass jar of peanut butter on newborn-baby Erins back! She was in her bassinet, parked in the kitchen up against the cupboard doors, and had only a little t-shirt on as she had a diaper rash, and I was letting air get to it~

Not thinking, I reached above her to open the cupboard door, and accidentally bumped the jar of peanut butter which landed squarely on her back!! She immediately began screaming and I freaked out, crying hysterically, grabbed her & ran over to the rocker where I proceeded to try and nurse her, and calm her...no damage done, but I felt all the same feelings you experienced today~ The Lord is good. He knows us Mommy's can't watch over our children every second, so He does! I'm so thankful Addison is alright, but I'm thinking of you and praying for peace in your heart on this day~ :)

Sharon

The Straubs said...

How scary!!! So glad your sweetie is ok, and you are NOT a bad Mom at all... accidents happen to all kids (just wait until she's mobile!) so don't feel bad. Simon tripped on some concrete about a month ago and he still has a scar on his nose from the nasty scrape he got. I wish we could always keep our kids from getting hurt, but what a great reminder that it's not our job after all. Love and hugs... the Straubs ♥

Becky said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Becky said...

Deanna, you are a wonderful mother! Every mom has stories to tell of mishaps with their babies and children! You didn't do anything wrong. Life just happens! You do your best to protect Addison, and let God do the rest, just as He did today! Isn't it wonderful how He proves Himself faithful and true over and over again to us! He knows how frail we are! I'm so thankful that Addison is all right!

Amy said...

I know exactly how you feel - but it was out of your control. It was an accident! God was protecting her and you. You are NOT a bad mother -
When Ava was 9 months old she was right with me in her room as I was about to put her down for her nap. She was playing on the floor while I was changing her crib sheet and then she starts screaming and she spit up blood. I panicked immediately b/c I had no idea what had happened - took her to the ER- they assumed nothing was wrong actually but did an xray just to make sure. And sure enough - she had swallowed half of a Christmas ornament hook (it was a week before Christmas). We were "lucky" that that hook was metal that it even showed up in an xray. It was stuck in her throat and they had to put her under and do an endoscopy to get it out. There are several things which could have been life threatening here . . . most obvious is that if it would have gotten lodged any differently in her throat - it probably would have punctured her lung(s) and she could have died. Also, she had a bad cold at the time and her airways all collapsed during the endoscopy. The nurse told us later that she gave the drs gray hair as they worked desperately to keep her above board during the procedure. Of course, when the first dr initially came running back into the room to tell me my daughter had a metal hook stuck in her throat - I was in shock. And when he left, I just sat there crying. Another mom in the ER immediately said, I know you're kicking yourself for being a bad mother but there is NOTHING you could have done about this except what you did - brought her to the ER. You're a great mother. I was really overwhelmed by her understanding and support - and you need it today!!! You're a great mother and love Addison with all your heart! Praying for you! And so thankful that God spared her and you with the globe!

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel - but it was out of your control. It was an accident! God was protecting her and you. You are NOT a bad mother -
When Ava was 9 months old she was right with me in her room as I was about to put her down for her nap. She was playing on the floor while I was changing her crib sheet and then she starts screaming and she spit up blood. I panicked immediately b/c I had no idea what had happened - took her to the ER- they assumed nothing was wrong actually but did an xray just to make sure. And sure enough - she had swallowed half of a Christmas ornament hook (it was a week before Christmas). We were "lucky" that that hook was metal that it even showed up in an xray. It was stuck in her throat and they had to put her under and do an endoscopy to get it out. There are several things which could have been life threatening here . . . most obvious is that if it would have gotten lodged any differently in her throat - it probably would have punctured her lung(s) and she could have died. Also, she had a bad cold at the time and her airways all collapsed during the endoscopy. The nurse told us later that she gave the drs gray hair as they worked desperately to keep her above board during the procedure. Of course, when the first dr initially came running back into the room to tell me my daughter had a metal hook stuck in her throat - I was in shock. And when he left, I just sat there crying. Another mom in the ER immediately said, I know you're kicking yourself for being a bad mother but there is NOTHING you could have done about this except what you did - brought her to the ER. You're a great mother. I was really overwhelmed by her understanding and support - and you need it today!!! You're a great mother and love Addison with all your heart! Praying for you! And so thankful that God spared her and you with the globe!
~Amy

johanna said...

Oh Deanna, I'm so sorry this happened. A glass globe fell on me not too long ago and I said over and over how thankful I was that Olivia wasn't underneath it at the time. I can't imagine how you felt, but am so thankful Addison was spared. Everyone else is right, it has nothing to do with you. It is wonderful to know that our children are in our Father's hands.

Jenny said...

Oh, that sounded scarey! I'm glad Addison is ok! She is such a beautiful, special little girl, I'm sure she has many Guardian Angels :)

Andrew and Esther said...

You are a great mom! God allowed that all to happen to remind you of His protection over Addison, not to make you feel like a horrible mother and wonder what "could have happened". Throughout the scope of time, it was never in His plan to allow that globe to fall on her. He knew she would be safe.
I love the picture of Aaron holding her hand, feeding her. I bet he was so glad to be living in that moment. So sweet.
You are a WONDERFUL mother!

Carrie said...

Yikes! Once when Samuel was a baby we got wherever we were going in the car, and I realized that he was not buckled in. Bad, bad mommy!

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