Monday, June 7, 2010
My baby is perfect too.
As has been my habit of late, when Addison goes to sleep, I have been spending more time online trying to find new friends- other moms who also are raising beautiful babies who are "rocking out on designer genes". (I stole that line from Tonya...love it!) I am just so encouraged by reading about other people who have gone through similar things-and lived to not only tell about it, but be happy about it. When I first found out that Addison had Down Syndrome, at just 19 weeks pregnant, the worst part was feeling all alone. I didn't know anyone who had ever gone through what I was going through. Because no one really understood, empathy was low and I struggled as I felt as though I was the only person in the world going through this. Even in the NICU for 5 weeks, all of the other babies were mostly premature, so they put us in isolation because our baby was full term and they weren't quite sure what to do with us. Never have felt more alone. Anyway, I am now meeting more and more wonderful moms with babies with Down Syndrome online, and I love this!
But why do I bring this up? While searching for new blogs tonight, I happened upon a blog site of a Mom with a brand new baby- perfectly "normal", healthy baby. She went out of her way on her blog to brag on and on and on about how perfect her baby is. She went as far to say that the "perfect sperm met the perfect egg to make her amazingly perfect baby". When I read things like this- some of the initial hurt comes back. When people post the facts about their baby and then say - perfect. It always makes me feel bad. Is this crazy? It's just, when people go out of their way to say that- does that mean that my baby isn't perfect? That their baby was perfectly made by God, but that since mine has an extra chromosome, she is a defect off of their perfect model? Maybe this is a petty thing- maybe I am too sensitive. I am just still very new to all of this. When Addison was born, I told all of my friends, that I just wanted everyone to be as excited for us as they would be for any baby being born. Because, I truly believe that she was perfectly made....not only that, but she was perfectly made to be our daughter. To other new parents- I understand that you are excited that you have a new baby, but please just rethink how you announce that your baby is "perfect". To me sometimes it sounds like new parents are saying...."haha- look what we have done. we have created the perfect baby." (emphasis on the we) And then they perhaps look over at me as though I have done something wrong since my baby has so many extra health issues to deal with. Under different circumstances, I think I would have fallen prey to the same way of thinking. Now, I realize, that every baby is a perfect blessing from God- given to the perfect family designed to serve the perfect purpose. Please don't rub in my face that your baby is perfect and that perhaps you feel that mine isn't. Just be thankful for the gift that God has given you, while I am so extremely thankful for the one that He has given me. I can't imagine life without my beautiful Addison who is, dare I say it- perfect.