Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Horrible, no good, very bad day

Today was a horrible, no good, very bad day. I gave my last final exam this morning, and everything seemed to go wrong. After the final exam things continue to pile up in a negative fashion until I reached the point where I was convinced that I was failing in everything in life. Bad teacher, bad mommy, bad wife, bad sister, bad friend, bad phone call returner- you get the idea. EPIC FAIL in life. I was just so discouraged. It wasn't just one thing. It was countless things pressing down and crushing my spirit.....combined with a lot of stress and putting too high of expectations on myself to make everything waaaay too complicated when simple would suffice. I finished my twenty or so minute ride home, more convinced by the mile that today was a complete waste of calendar space.....just wanting to take a vacation from life itself....As I walked in the door, I was greeted by this face:
My heart immediately melted. I reached for my baby girl, and she wrapped those chubby arms around me and buried her sweet face in my neck and just held on. I took a whiff of her baby essence smell (no, not a dirty diaper...just the top of her head) and all of my troubles seem to just melt away. As I sat holding her, problem after problem no longer seemed significant. I felt her soft, warm body sigh and settle deeper onto my body and I knew that no matter what I faced during the day- as long as I get to come home to this sweet face every day- I will be blissfully happy. Not just enduring bad days and feeling sorry for myself because of all of the "extra" things that I have to do as a mom with a child with special needs- BLISSFULLY happy. Because loving this girl is all I need for a really great day. Who cares that the first part of the day was so completely awful.....I can barely remember it now. After a long time of holding Addison and having my spirit mended one baby hand caress at a time, we went grocery shopping, went to Zumba with my sister and good friend Karen (Grandpa very graciously watched Addison for us) and then back home for some yummy meatball subs, homemade cinnamon rolls and a very fun game. What a wonderful day! Usually when so many things go so horribly wrong at the beginning of the day, I tend to pout about them the rest of the day, causing a somewhat domino effect and nothing that happens thereafter even has a chance of recovering.....but today I experienced a total turnaround. Thank you, Addison for cheering me up. You are the most amazing baby! I love you so much!

Totally separate note: how do I get her to keep from pulling the O2 from out of her nose and wrapping it around her arm? Exhibit A:

6 comments:

  1. This is precious! I so appreciate your honesty and how you share your heart and your love. A perfect family created by God.

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  2. This made me cry. I could almost feel Addison's arms and smell her! You've got a great way of making things so touchable.

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  3. Being a mother makes everything harder, but oh so much better! Glad your day went well. I know Karen was so excited to meet Addison! :)

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  4. It was so much fun to click on your blog and see little Addison's face staring right at me! What a little doll baby! So glad your horrible, no good, very bad day ended so sweetly with precious little Addison's help! :)

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  5. Love the picture, love the entry, and love the new layout! ~Stacey

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  6. Children have the amazing ability of putting everything into perspective. We would love to meet Addison someday, and we miss you guys! Keep it coming... we love reading about your lives!

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Thanks for reading about my Everything and Nothing. I would love to hear from you!