Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Sleepless Night


Going for a walk with Grandma Ruth and Mom...

Here Mom goes again....taking pictures of me...

Seriously, this is getting old...
Are you kidding me? We're done here...


So this week has been a bit stressful. A lot going on at work and trying to last minute get all of the details to fall into place for next week's Boston trip makes me feel that I am letting a lot of things slip through the cracks. I have had a bit of trouble focusing and concentrating on teaching and such. The one really great thing is that my mother is here watching Addison for me. I can just leave the house and go to work and come home and Addison is here waiting for me- in a clean diaper and in a clean outfit. I am getting really spoiled. (-: Children with Special Health needs are covering almost all of the cost for our Boston trip, which is great- it is just the matter of getting everything set up with their pre-approval so that they will pay.

Also, I have been struggling a bit with having enough time to keep up with pumping enough to maintain an adequate milk supply. I have been working hard since Addison was born to feed her 100% breast milk, but it is getting harder and harder to keep this up. When is it OK to starting switching gradually to formula without feeling guilty? We have made it over three months so far on all breast milk. As a mom, I want to do everything I can to give Addison what she needs to succeed physically. I wish that I could have breastfed Addison, but since they wouldn't let me feed her for her first three weeks of life, by the time we started to try, she really held no interest. It actually took me weeks to teach her how to just drink from a bottle. All this to say, I am considering starting to switch over to some formula because physically I just can't keep up with all of this, but I feel like I am wimping out as a mom if I do this. Thoughts?

I can't conclude this post without mentioning last night's lack of sleep. Addison really sleeps really well at night- usually from 7:30/8:00pm to 6:00am, but last night was a little rough, and it wasn't all Addison's fault. I was pretty stressed last night, so I finally fell into a pretty deep sleep by 11:00. Aaron woke me at 12:00, and I was pretty out of it. He said that after he woke me up I asked him who he was. He informed me that he had a tick in his back that he needed me to pull out for him. Being the dutiful wife who easily freaks out, I jumped out of bed and helped him with this. Somehow I managed to successfully pull out the entire tick, but then after I went back to bed, I couldn't sleep. Kept thinking about the tick- worrying and fretting and imagining ticks all around me. Finally fell back asleep just in time for Addison to start fussing at around 4:00. I got up, fed her through her Mic-Key tube and then tried to go back to sleep. She threw up around 5 and started fussing again. I fed her a second time, and she threw up again.... finally had to leave for work and left her in the capable hands of Grandma Ruth (see what I mean about being spoiled). Anyway, I taught my classes today on very little sleep, but my students were gracious with me....sort of. (-: It was such a beautiful day, and after enough coffee, I woke up enough to enjoy it-including a walk with Addison and Grandma Ruth when I got home.





12 comments:

  1. I think you did great to feed 100% breastmilk for 3 months, considering you were pumping the whole time! It's hard to keep up your supply when you're pumping so much. I know that what you have done for her has benefited her. Don't feel guilty. You are doing everything you can for Addison, and beyond that, don't worry about it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Deanna, you should not feel guilty at all if you need to switch to formula. She got your milk for the most important first few months. You could try doing half formula and half breastmilk for a while. I was a completely formula fed kid, and look how wonderful I turned out:):)(this is Karen)

    ReplyDelete
  3. So sorry you had a rough night, then trying to get through the next day at school. You do the best you can, and then you leave the rest up to the Lord, Deanna! Addison will be fine. She's such a beautiful, sweet baby.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pumping is tough on the body. I agree with everyone else... making it 3 months of pumping full time is QUITE the accomplishment. The increas of stress b/c of going back to work could also be part of the trouble. Stress always affected me when I was pumping. If you need to switch to formula - there's nothing wrong with that. 10 years from now, we're not going to compare the "formula" kids to the "breastmilk" kids and be able to tell a difference. :) You're doing a great job! You wouldn't be wimping out - you'd just be taking something off your plate and allowing yourself more time to just sit with your baby -- rather than worrying about when you have to pump to make sure you've got enough stored up.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree with Nathan! Had to put that...until I read it was Karen, I thought, "well, good of Nathan to chime in on bf vs. formula!" Remember when Addison couldn't wear any one piece outfits that didn't snap down the front? She has changed and progressed so much since she first came home. Can't wait to see all the progress in the next few weeks. School will be over soon! Wish we could go with you next week! Prayers & Love, Lydia

    ReplyDelete
  6. i love that blue dress with the fish. Awesome job, pumping breast milk for three month. If the milk is "slowing" down, then your body tells you, what you should do.

    Helena

    ReplyDelete
  7. You definitely don't need to feel bad switching to formula. I tried to breastfeed Lily for the first 3 weeks, but my body would not produce milk (and believe me, I tried everything! the reason is most likely my food allergies weren't allowing me to get balanced nutrition). At 3 weeks old, she was way less than her birth weight, so we knew something had to change- my parents have a farm with goats and since goat's milk is the closest thing to mothers milk, that's what Lily has been on since.

    ReplyDelete
  8. such a cutie...good luck in boston our thoughts are with you! and with the breast milk thing...u do what you can do because addison needs you at your best :) and if a little switch in her food gets u there u go for it!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wow. Three months pumping. Shudder. You have got absolutely nothing to feel guilty about! I'm wowed that you've held out this long - especially with going to work now! I'd say ease off/ on slowly. Do one less pumping every day on week 1 and see how she takes the formula. Some babies react differently to different formulas. My first did great with everything. My second had major constipation/ digestion issues until we found the one that worked best for her. Addison's body can adjust to the new food a little at a time. And that way your body isn't going crazy either - 'cause stopping all at once won't work for you. Ouch. Big time.
    Pulling out a tick. Shudder again. You are amazing. Tell us what day the surgery is so that we can be praying!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh yeah. Meant to say - LOVE the pics of Addison in the pink/ white stripes. She's so dainty and pretty!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Don't feel guilty about switching to formula. Not everyone can keep up with breastfeeding, especially when you are pumping, and working a lot. You have done what you could for her. Maybe you could just try to pump twice a day as long as you can...that way she still gets some "good stuff". I weaned my first at 4 months, and only nursed my second twice a day by 6 months. You need to do what you can for your body and take care of yourself as well. :-) I love you blog! Addison is such a sweetie!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I heartily agree with the comments! I pumped for just a few weeks and was ready to throw it out the window! It's more important for you to enjoy her. They make good formula these days. :o)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for reading about my Everything and Nothing. I would love to hear from you!