Friday, April 30, 2010

Dear Addison,

I can't begin to tell you how much of a joy you are to us. There was a time that we worried about how you would change us and now we can't imagine life without you. As I held and cuddled with you on the couch today, here are a few thoughts I wanted to share with you:

1. I love the way you are so content. Oftentimes if you are not ready to go to bed, you will just lie in your crib and stare around your nursery until you fall asleep- sometimes for hours- all the while not making a sound.

2. You are so patient with us. As new parents, we are learning every day. You tolerate all of our fumbles and mistakes so graciously.

3. You are such an active baby- but you have spurts of activity, take a snooze, and then wake up to wiggle again. Your body can't quite yet handle your activity level. Your therapist is impressed by your head/upper body control, and you are getting good at flinging your body around-almost to the point of rolling over.

4. You sleep great at night and you are starting to let us know more and more when you are ready to eat so we can feed you by bottle instead of dumping food in your stomach every 3 hours using your Mic-Key button.

5. I love to listen to you smack your lips as you eat. There was a time in the NICU that the doctors told me that it might take a really, really long time and maybe never that you would eat from a bottle and now you eat all day long from the bottle....and if the smacks are any indication- you really enjoy it...(-:

6. I wish you didn't have to be on frustrates you so much to have the tube taped to your face.....

7. I wish you didn't have to have heart surgery and have so many doctor's appointments. You are such an amazing baby and so extremely strong and brave. You challenge me to be a better person and mom

8. I love to hold you and kiss your head. You snuggle your face in my neck- almost as if you smell that I am your Mommy and you feel safe and loved- one of my favorite things ever.

9. I love watching Daddy play with you and hold you- although I do warn him to not throw you around quite so much after you have eaten. I keep waiting for you to throw up on him...maybe that will help him remember. He is such a good dad- don't you think?

10. I wish I knew if you could see and hear me as much as I imagine you can. I play music for you all day because I love music and I know that if you can hear it you will love it too.

11. I love when we bring you to our bed for a family nap/cuddle time. You love to be near Mommy and fall asleep almost instantly.

12. You are so beautiful. It is almost not fair to the other babies. I love to dress you in beautiful clothes and show you off. I can't believe how blessed and lucky I am to be your mom.

13. I never dreamed that I would love motherhood so much. You really make it easy to love. I look forward to watching you grow up- your first steps, your first words, your first ski lesson (-: Sometimes when I worry about what to expect, I look into your vividly blue eyes and know that whatever path you take us down, we will enjoy it because it is with you.

14. You are starting to really like bath time. You used to scream and scream, but now the warm water soothes and calms you. I can't wait to take you swimming this summer.

15. Your hair is out of control. Every day it turns more blonde and sticks out more. Secretly I hope it will turn out like Daddy's hair. (-:

16. I love that you are starting to get rolls of fat on your arms and legs. Your Dad has started calling you Chubs McPhee. Not sure where that came from, but it sure is catchy.

17. Next week we are going to Boston to have your heart operated on. I know this will be hard on you, but I want you to know that I will be there with you every step of the way. I know I can't take the pain away. Sometimes I wish that my love could protect you from all of this, but I promise after your surgery, as soon as we are able, we will have a long Mommy/daughter holding time that you love so much and that instantly calms you no matter what just happened.

18. I don't mind it when you cry, because to me it represents health. You used to not be able to cry. Now I welcome the baby sounds filling my house. You make the cutest little noises along with a poochy lip if the mood hits you. (-:

I love you, Addison!


  1. Beautiful post, Deanna. My eyes welled up throughout. Addison is an amazing little girl, and she has such a wonderful family! We are praying for all of you - esp next week.

  2. Precious post. I am praying that the surgery will go well!

  3. Best post yet. Make sure you print out a copy and place the letter in an envelope and seal it. Give it to Addison later in life, it will mean so much to her. I write Tava a letter(and even one to Evan) every Christmas stating things that they did, events that happened and of course how much I love them. Just a way to remember things through out her childhood that they wouldn't.

  4. what a beautiful declaration of Love. This blog is going to be famous and will help other parents a lot.


  5. Wow, Deanna! Your letter made me happy. You are great parents and Addison is so blessed to be with you. I will pray the surgery goes well!


  6. Babies are so wonderful in bringing out that heart of love from a mom and dad. You expressed this beautifully, Deanna. We will be praying for you and the family as Addison goes through the surgery and recovery. We're praying for her to come out stronger than ever.


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